We asked our readers to share their stories of the worst Valentine’s Day gifts they’d ever received, and thousands poured in with tales of truly terrible presents.
One recurring theme is the mass of Manc husbands hell-bent on giving their wives cleaning or cooking equipment.
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As practical as it might be, a box of washing powder doesn’t exactly scream ‘I love you’, does it.
In his defence though, Ann-Marie said her grandad did at least wrap up the detergent before he gave it to his wife.
Nothing screams romance like gammon. Credit: Flickr
Michelle’s husband is clearly another Mr Practical – she said she received: “A carpet cleaner one year and a George Foreman grill another year. My husband is very romantic.”
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Joanne added: “Matching kettle and toaster ….! He just said you told me you liked them so thought I’d get you them”
Kirsty said she was given ‘a pump for an inflatable bed’, which hopefully wasn’t a hint that she was being turfed out of the bedroom.
An M&S dine-in deal is a fairly standard Valentine’s Day gift. A lot of Mancs did not go down this route. Credit: M&S
So how are so many people getting the gift of food so very wrong?
Pete said he received ‘7 kilos of basmati rice’ one year, while someone else commented that they were given ‘a joint of gammon’.
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Emily wrote: “A bottle of mayonnaise Steven nicked from spoons,” so her fella didn’t even pay for her present.
A weird reoccurring theme with the men in our audience is an obsession with fish.
A few people were gifted a fish for Valentine’s Day. Credit: Photo by pouria oskuie on Unsplash
Kim posted that one year she received: “A goldfish called maud, I sh*t you not. Couldn’t knock the originality and it did keep me chuckling for days. Although finding it just randomly on my door step from f*ck knows who was more the mystery.”
In a matching set, Jenni said: “A fish tank! 1) never ever mentioned a desire to own fish. 2) it didn’t come with fish. 3) it was pink.”
Lindsey wrote: “Pink fluffy car seat covers… I dont even f*cking drive”
Nic commented: “it certainly wasn’t the worst valentines present I’d ever had…..but one year I got a steering wheel”
And in a savage move, Jenny said: “I told my ex husband I wanted a divorce on Valentine’s Day…. It was his birthday too.”
Featured image: Unsplash
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You can get a mobile massage treatment in your office – just like us
Thomas Melia
We’d like to introduce you to the pioneering personalised service offering massage treatments on the move at practically any location including direct from your office– including to those of us here in Manchester.
In a world where you can get practically anything delivered straight to your door, it wasn’t going to be long until some genius invented a way to get a massage from the comfort of your own office.
Named ‘London’s first digital beauty concierge’, Ruuby have been pampering the nation’s capital for almost a decade before branching out to further locations.
The gorgeous set up provided by RuubyLook at that lovely branding on the towels.They did wonders with our otherwise plain downstairs office space. (Credit: The Manc Group)
In October 2024, the company expanded beyond its domestic reach in the likes of the capital, the Cotswolds and Surrey into Europe, making its first mark Switzerland: the perfect country for both luxury and essential beauty treatments with a tailored experience.
The month following saw the group moving up North and all the way to Manchester, where people can now book professional treatments best suited to them, right on their doorstep.
If you’re feeling scepticalstill, you can take it from us here at The Manc; we couldn’t tell you how relaxing and comforting these massages are.
There are a range of treatments available and we opted for two bespoke massages, a sports massage and a deep tissue massage.
Each experience is suited to your personal needs meaning each massage therapist will be able to fine-tune their relaxation abilities to what benefits you best.
After choosing the bespoke massage that I felt would work best for me, I went into this with no prior massage experience and I came out feeling taller, broader and more refreshed. Highly recommend.
Mid-day office massage? Yes, please.How relaxing. What a shame you have to go back to work after!Credit: The Manc Group
My masseuse guided me throughout the whole process and we soon discovered that I was able to tolerate much harder pressure than I thought which helped release tension I didn’t even know I had!
The same applies to how firm you’d like your session to be, as the masseuse can help with a brief overview of your time together, but the amount of pressure you like is down to personal preference.
It’s not just massages either: there’s everything from waxing, nails and hair to physio and IV drips; how about getting Marbella ready in less than an hour with a spray tan service set up wherever you are?
As Ruuby is a mobile and remote work environment, there are a number of at any time up and down the country, meaning your next beauty slot could be as little as an hour away, find out more HERE.
Farm shops are cool now – and Albion Farm Shop is the best of the best
Daisy Jackson
At some point in life, your idea of a great day out switches from drinking and clubbing to visiting a farm shop, or a garden centre, or something similarly wholesome.
And up in the hills above Manchester is surely one of the best in the UK – Albion Farm Shop.
This Saddleworth favourite is half-cafe, half-shop, with produce all either grown right outside, or sourced as locally as possible.
And while places like Hollies Farm Shop in Cheshire pull in seriously big, glamorous crowds (maybe it’s the Molly-Mae effect), there’s something much more charming and authentic about Albion Farm Shop.
Maybe it’s the tractors parked outside, the fact the produce section is in a drafty barn, the mismatched shelves and cabinets. It’s not curated like this – it just is.
The food in the cafe itself is up there with the best British grub in the North West, and I say that with my hand on my heart.
Whether it’s a full breakfast spilling over the edge of a plate, sandwiches served in a doorstop of bread, or a full menu of burgers made with British beef cap and smoked bone marrow patties, you can’t steer far wrong.
Rag pudding at Albion Farm ShopChips with a side of bone broth gravy Those huge burgers
There are chunky chips served with a full bowl of bone stock gravy on the side (hello, this is Oldham), onion rings so big you can wear them as a bangle, and big bowls of homemade soup.
And it would be remiss of me not to mention the rag pudding, a traditional dish from this neck of the woods. Famously, she’s not a pretty menu item, but this steamed suet pastry stuffed with braised beef shin is comforting and delicious.
If you want to stick northern fare but don’t fancy rag pudding, you can also grab a wedge of cheese and onion pie, lambs liver with mash, or any number of seasonal specials (for us, it was roast pork).
There are cracking views of the surrounding countryside, a resident cat who’s usually sleeping in the entranceway, and charm packed into every square foot.
Albion Farm Shop is at Oldham Road, Delph, Saddleworth OL3 5RQ.
The resident cat at Albion Farm ShopRoast pork in the cafeThe Albion Farm Shop cafeAlbion Farm ShopInside the shop itselfThe produce barn Local cheesesBakery itemsThe produce barn
Daisy Jackson -
13th February 2022 
