Marc White, manager of National League side Dorking Wanderers FC, has gone viral after his brutally honest and downright hilarious assessment of his team’s performance against Oldham Athletic.
Some top-notch casual cussing, here.
White was speaking to the club’s official YouTube channel after his side’s hefty 5-1 defeat to the Latics on Saturday, 7 January, and didn’t mince his words for one second.
Although David Unsworth’s team put on an impressive display, with striker Karl Mike Fondop Talom bagging a hattrick as the Greater Manchester outfit cruised to victory, the Dorking manager not only praised the opposition but also went fully in on his own players.
Here’s just a taste. Tell us how you really feel, Marc…
The 49-year-old coach and founder of the ever-ascending semi-pro team kicked off the no-nonsense appraisal of his team by breaking down things into the simplest terms possible: “Well, from our perspective, obviously sh*t.”
We appreciate your brevity, Marc.
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After making sure to thank the Dorking fans for their “loyalty” and for “getting behind the team”, as well as giving a “big thanks to the Oldham fans for getting piss wet through”, White wasted no time digging into his squad.
He summed up the root cause just as succinctly: “Oldham won 5-1 because we’re sh*t at defending”. Penny for the centre-half’s thoughts right now.
Here’s his rant in full.
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We counted at least six references to ‘sh*t’ and or ‘piss’. Just under one a minute.
As you can see, he also had very little time for the referees on the day, insisting that the “officials were so bad it was unbelievable.
“I’ve got to say, honestly, they should pack it in — literally pack in doing what they do”. He really wasn’t letting anyone off the hook.”
He went on to argue that the National League should get rid of what he perceived as an obstructive over-reliance on headsets, describing the refs as appalling and akin to “Domino’s drivers all talking to each other” to the point that the first official “can’t ref his own game anymore”.
While we can only sympathise with the Dorking players who are undoubtedly in for a rough week of training and equally hilarious bollockings, we’re just glad we got to better familiarise ourselves with a straight-talking manager as they’re an increasingly rare commodity these days.
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Sitting 16th in the standings, Dorking face Kidderminster Harriers in the FA Trophy on Saturday, 14 January and travel to 21st-placed Gateshead for their next league game next week.
Part-time or not, White and his men will no doubt be hoping to get back to winning ways against two very beatable prospects.
For now, you can watch the full Dorking vs Oldham highlights down below. We’re sure Oldham fans will be happy more than to.
Premier League Darts is returning to Manchester’s AO Arena in 2027
Lydia Mastrolonardo
Premier League Darts is confirmed to be returning to Manchester next year.
Now’s your chance to see the youngest world champion in darts history, AKA Warrington’s very-own Luke ‘The Nuke’ Littler, show us how it’s done, as next year’s BetMGM Premier League Darts lineup has just been announced this week – with various dates confirmed across 17 different cities in the UK and Europe.
And Manchester is one of those cities, as the AO Arena has shared that they are set to host an evening next April, and we couldn’t be more excited about it.
This means that we will be lucky enough to witness the biggest names in world darts all under one roof, including headliners Gian van Veen and Luke Humphries, as well as Littler.
Manchester is the only northern city to get the pleasure of hosting the event next year, as Liverpool is also on the lineup, as is Leeds, Sheffield, and Newcastle, while elsewhere in the UK, the stars will travel to Glasgow, Birmingham, London, and several other major locations.
BetMGM Premier League Darts is to be held on Thursday 8 April at the AO Arena in Manchester, and to avoid being disappointed, fans are advised to register for presale ticket access.
Following a successful season of events in 2026, tickets are expected to be like gold-dust, so don’t say you haven’t been warned.
To access the first wave of tickets, fans must become an active PDCTV Annual Member before 23:59pm on Friday 9 October. Alternatively, general sale is on Thursday 22 October 2026, but make sure not to hang about.
Featured Image – Sandro Halank (via Wikimedia Commons)
Sport
Andy Burnham wants to scrap the ‘unfair’ ban on drinking alcohol in football stands
Emily Sergeant
Andy Burnham has claimed he wants to scrap the ‘unfair’ ban on fans getting to drink alcohol in football stands.
It’s a ban that’s been in place in the top five tiers of men’s football since 1985, when fears over violence and hooliganism were at their height, but now the Prime Minister has raised the question of whether drinking in football stands – or ‘drinking in sight / view of the pitch’, as it’s known formally – is actually unjust, due to the fact that same rules don’t apply to fans of other sports.
“I don’t think it’s fair for football fans to be singled out in that way,” Andy Burnham has declared this week, grabbing headlines in the process.
He continued: “I think that legislation dates to an era where football was very different, and I do believe there is a case to remove that discrimination.
“I’m not going to back away from what’s been a long-held view of mine. I don’t see how it can be fair that some supporters of one sport can be treated differently.”
The Prime Minister’s comments have been met with mixed response.
Andy Burnham wants to scrap the ‘unfair’ ban on drinking alcohol in football stands / Credit: James Kirkup | Julia Nastogadka (via Unsplash)
The Football Supporters’ Association (FSA), for example, has very much welcomed the idea, saying that it ‘totally agrees’ the legislation is ‘outdated’ and ‘deserves to be reviewed’.
Tom Greatrex, chair of the FSA, said in a statement: “The FSA has always argued that it’s unfair to criminalise football fans for having a pint while watching the match – especially since you can sit in the same seat drinking alcohol whilst watching an Oasis gig or rugby league.”
However, on the flip side, the UK Football Policing Unit said it would be ‘incredibly rash’ to change the rules without proper consultation.
“Other sports simply don’t see the violence and criminal behaviour from their supporters that football does, albeit a minority, with alcohol often playing a significant part in violent and disorderly behaviour,” it said in a statement on the matter.
The Prime Minister did state in his initial proposition though that ‘there are different ways it could be done’, hinting that it could be done ‘on a trial basis’ perhaps.
The English Football League (EFL) added that it would be ‘receptive to discussions around reviewing current legislation and permitting alcoholic drinks within view of the pitch’.
No formal details on a review have been confirmed as of yet, so fans are encouraged to stay tuned for updates in due course.
Danny Jones -
9th January 2023 
