Marc White, manager of National League side Dorking Wanderers FC, has gone viral after his brutally honest and downright hilarious assessment of his team’s performance against Oldham Athletic.
Some top-notch casual cussing, here.
White was speaking to the club’s official YouTube channel after his side’s hefty 5-1 defeat to the Latics on Saturday, 7 January, and didn’t mince his words for one second.
Although David Unsworth’s team put on an impressive display, with striker Karl Mike Fondop Talom bagging a hattrick as the Greater Manchester outfit cruised to victory, the Dorking manager not only praised the opposition but also went fully in on his own players.
Here’s just a taste. Tell us how you really feel, Marc…
The 49-year-old coach and founder of the ever-ascending semi-pro team kicked off the no-nonsense appraisal of his team by breaking down things into the simplest terms possible: “Well, from our perspective, obviously sh*t.”
We appreciate your brevity, Marc.
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After making sure to thank the Dorking fans for their “loyalty” and for “getting behind the team”, as well as giving a “big thanks to the Oldham fans for getting piss wet through”, White wasted no time digging into his squad.
He summed up the root cause just as succinctly: “Oldham won 5-1 because we’re sh*t at defending”. Penny for the centre-half’s thoughts right now.
Here’s his rant in full.
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We counted at least six references to ‘sh*t’ and or ‘piss’. Just under one a minute.
As you can see, he also had very little time for the referees on the day, insisting that the “officials were so bad it was unbelievable.
“I’ve got to say, honestly, they should pack it in — literally pack in doing what they do”. He really wasn’t letting anyone off the hook.”
He went on to argue that the National League should get rid of what he perceived as an obstructive over-reliance on headsets, describing the refs as appalling and akin to “Domino’s drivers all talking to each other” to the point that the first official “can’t ref his own game anymore”.
While we can only sympathise with the Dorking players who are undoubtedly in for a rough week of training and equally hilarious bollockings, we’re just glad we got to better familiarise ourselves with a straight-talking manager as they’re an increasingly rare commodity these days.
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Sitting 16th in the standings, Dorking face Kidderminster Harriers in the FA Trophy on Saturday, 14 January and travel to 21st-placed Gateshead for their next league game next week.
Part-time or not, White and his men will no doubt be hoping to get back to winning ways against two very beatable prospects.
For now, you can watch the full Dorking vs Oldham highlights down below. We’re sure Oldham fans will be happy more than to.
Exciting new CGIs released of £500m Therme Manchester wellness resort as construction continues
Emily Sergeant
As construction continues on Manchester’s massive wellness resort, some new CGIs have now been released.
In case you need bringing up to speed, construction of the £500 million Therme Manchester wellness resort officially began last September after several years of planning, and now developers have released some exciting new CGIs – with an update on how construction is going, as a new milestone has been reached this week.
Set to open to the public in 2029, Therme Manchester will become one of the largest urban wellbeing resorts in the world.
Visitors can expect to make the most of a 10 pools – both lagoon and wave pools included – thermal bathing, multi-sensory sauna rituals, steam rooms, 18 water slides, affordably-priced luxury spa therapies, and health and fitness experiences.
Exciting new CGIs released of Therme Manchester have been released / Credit: Supplied
At the heart of Therme Manchester will be three distinct zones, each offering a different way to spend time at the resort.
Play will bring together water-based fun and attractions for families and visitors of all ages, and Restore will focus on thermal bathing and restorative experiences designed to help visitors unwind, while Relax will offer spaces for relaxation and wellbeing.
The latest CGIs showcase the design as it develops – including the resort’s extensive indoor and outdoor spaces, and its 53,000sq ft wellbeing garden.
Construction is still underway on the £500m wellness resort / Credit: Supplied
The plans also feature a new public plaza designed to strengthen connections between the resort and the Bridgewater Canal.
Professor David Russell, CEO of Therme UK, said: “We have taken the opportunity to refine the design, improve how traffic and parking are managed and create a more welcoming environment for everyone arriving at the resort.
“We are creating an even better experience for visitors while supporting more efficient and sustainable operations.”
Therme Manchester was initially touted as a £250m project that would complete in 2025, but it’s now up to £500m and is scheduled to complete it 2029.
It marks one of the most significant building developments to ever take place in the North.
Featured Image – Supplied
Sport
Manchester City release limited-edition Blossoms shirts exclusively in new flagship store
Daisy Jackson
Manchester City have released a limited run of special Blossoms shirts, which will be available exclusively at the new flagship City Store.
Etihad Airways has donated the front-of-shirt space for the special drop, which celebrates the Stockport band’s lifelong support of Man City and will fundraise forCity in the Community’s 40th anniversary.
The Manchester City x Blossoms collab features the band’s logo across the chest of the 2024/25 season’s away shirt – one of the Club’s most popular designs in recent years.
Profits from sales of the shirts will be donated to CITC to support its 40th anniversary fundraising, which empower healthier lives with city youth through football.
Blossoms have just secured their fifth UK number one album with their latest release, ‘Songs From The Wedding Cake’, and will soon be heading on an arena tour that includes two massive shows at the Co-op Live.
There’s a very limited run of the Man City Blossoms shirts, available in sizes small to large, which will exclusively be sold at the new flagship CityStore.
The shirts have dropped in-store this morning, with further drops to be released around the band’s tour dates this November and December.
As for that new City store – it’s a whopping 21,000 sq ft, three-floor space at Medlock Square, right beside the Etihad Stadium, and is the biggest shop in the club’s history.
The new flagship has opened today in collaboration with PUMA and Stichd, and features a new, interactive ‘Make It Yours’ customisation station as well as an expanded range of Manchester City products.
Danny Jones -
9th January 2023 
