Marc White, manager of National League side Dorking Wanderers FC, has gone viral after his brutally honest and downright hilarious assessment of his team’s performance against Oldham Athletic.
Some top-notch casual cussing, here.
White was speaking to the club’s official YouTube channel after his side’s hefty 5-1 defeat to the Latics on Saturday, 7 January, and didn’t mince his words for one second.
Although David Unsworth’s team put on an impressive display, with striker Karl Mike Fondop Talom bagging a hattrick as the Greater Manchester outfit cruised to victory, the Dorking manager not only praised the opposition but also went fully in on his own players.
Here’s just a taste. Tell us how you really feel, Marc…
The 49-year-old coach and founder of the ever-ascending semi-pro team kicked off the no-nonsense appraisal of his team by breaking down things into the simplest terms possible: “Well, from our perspective, obviously sh*t.”
We appreciate your brevity, Marc.
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After making sure to thank the Dorking fans for their “loyalty” and for “getting behind the team”, as well as giving a “big thanks to the Oldham fans for getting piss wet through”, White wasted no time digging into his squad.
He summed up the root cause just as succinctly: “Oldham won 5-1 because we’re sh*t at defending”. Penny for the centre-half’s thoughts right now.
Here’s his rant in full.
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We counted at least six references to ‘sh*t’ and or ‘piss’. Just under one a minute.
As you can see, he also had very little time for the referees on the day, insisting that the “officials were so bad it was unbelievable.
“I’ve got to say, honestly, they should pack it in — literally pack in doing what they do”. He really wasn’t letting anyone off the hook.”
He went on to argue that the National League should get rid of what he perceived as an obstructive over-reliance on headsets, describing the refs as appalling and akin to “Domino’s drivers all talking to each other” to the point that the first official “can’t ref his own game anymore”.
While we can only sympathise with the Dorking players who are undoubtedly in for a rough week of training and equally hilarious bollockings, we’re just glad we got to better familiarise ourselves with a straight-talking manager as they’re an increasingly rare commodity these days.
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Sitting 16th in the standings, Dorking face Kidderminster Harriers in the FA Trophy on Saturday, 14 January and travel to 21st-placed Gateshead for their next league game next week.
Part-time or not, White and his men will no doubt be hoping to get back to winning ways against two very beatable prospects.
For now, you can watch the full Dorking vs Oldham highlights down below. We’re sure Oldham fans will be happy more than to.
Manchester United have been linked with a move for a Real Madrid legend
Danny Jones
Manchester United are reportedly interested in signing football legend and former Real Madrid captain Sergio Ramos, over a decade on from the last time he was linked with the club.
Yes, after the notion of signing the Spanish defender first cropped circa 2009, and then again in 2015 (that time with the possibility of David de Gea famously going the other way), the European footballing veteran is set to be pursued by a number of teams next month.
One might even consider a third turn around the ‘could he?’ carousel towards the same club, not unlike the Wesley Sneijder-Man United equivalent of the transfer rumour mill.
Nevertheless, it appears as if it’s come round once again, though it remains to be seen just whether or not the story has any serious legs.
According to Spanish news outlet and radio station, Cadena SER, Sergio Ramos is now being eyed up for a potential move to Manchester, and the idea of him finally donning a United shirt might not be so far-fetched after all.
Now 39 years old and having personally announced that he won’t be signing a new deal at CF Monterrey, he will soon be available as a free agent in the upcoming January transfer window.
Ramos, a World Cup and Euros winner – not to mention serial La Liga and Champions League trophy collector – joined the Mexican club back in February after more than 16 years with the European giants, but his contract runs out at the end of this December.
Despite being set to enter his 40s and already well into the second decade of his professional career, the latest is that the Red Devils have now put forward a ‘formal offer’ to reunite the established, serial winner and senior star with his former and equally decorated teammate, Casemiro.
🚨🚨🌖| BREAKING: Manchester United have formally put forward an offer to bring Sergio Ramos to Old Trafford in the January window. [@La_SER via @goal] pic.twitter.com/QpOlL4izk2
It goes without saying that not only will numerous teams be throwing their hat in the ring to sign Ramos this January, but any side would benefit from having such a strong and experienced leadership presence in the dressing room, let alone Ruben Amorim‘s squad.
Better still, bringing in a player of his calibre on a free will be seen as an absolute coup by whoever eventually secures his signature.
However, as per GOAL (who also shared the claims made by Cadena SER earlier this week), while the Spaniard is said to have no intention of hanging up his boots just yet and still wants to try and compete at the top level, it is thought he would like a second return to Sevilla.
The belief is that when Ramos does retire, it will be back at his boyhood club – but before that, we couldn’t really be about to see him in the red of a Man United shirt… could we?
A short train ride away to Cheshire, and being a big Man United fan basically counts, if you ask us.
Yes, Warrington’s very own Luke Littler has been named on the shortlist for the 2025 Sports Personality of the Year, quite literally 12 months from his previous nomination.
Littler, who is still only 18, did go on to win the 2024 Young SPOTY last December – a very decent consolation prize following his blockbuster debut year or so – but he has been tipped as a bookies’ favourite this time around.
He’s also been voted for that award again this year, so you’d hope he’d be walking away with at least one of the trophies, though it’d be far from his only one of late.
Since then, the young sporting prodigy has gone on to win all but two of the 10 PDC majors, including two Premier League Darts titles.
In fact, if you want to look at how his arrival onto the senior professional darts circuit breaks down, you can take a gander at the frankly staggering stats behind his breakthrough down below.
As you can see, other nominees include former Manchester City Women’s star Chloe Kelly and Lioness, Hannah Hampton; rugby union and national team member, Ellie Kildunne, F1 favourite Lando Norris, as well as Irish golfer, Rory McIlroy (not for the first time).
We’ll confess we’re very much biased and backing local lad Littler – sue us.
The other Young SPOTY nominees for 2025 include another rising England star in Michelle Agyemang and Northern Superchargers cricket talent, Davina Perrin.
Being hosted over at MediaCityUK in Salford once again, voting will take place during the show on BBC One and the BBC iPlayer on Thursday, 18 December.
Danny Jones -
9th January 2023 
