Marc White, manager of National League side Dorking Wanderers FC, has gone viral after his brutally honest and downright hilarious assessment of his team’s performance against Oldham Athletic.
Some top-notch casual cussing, here.
White was speaking to the club’s official YouTube channel after his side’s hefty 5-1 defeat to the Latics on Saturday, 7 January, and didn’t mince his words for one second.
Although David Unsworth’s team put on an impressive display, with striker Karl Mike Fondop Talom bagging a hattrick as the Greater Manchester outfit cruised to victory, the Dorking manager not only praised the opposition but also went fully in on his own players.
Here’s just a taste. Tell us how you really feel, Marc…
The 49-year-old coach and founder of the ever-ascending semi-pro team kicked off the no-nonsense appraisal of his team by breaking down things into the simplest terms possible: “Well, from our perspective, obviously sh*t.”
We appreciate your brevity, Marc.
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After making sure to thank the Dorking fans for their “loyalty” and for “getting behind the team”, as well as giving a “big thanks to the Oldham fans for getting piss wet through”, White wasted no time digging into his squad.
He summed up the root cause just as succinctly: “Oldham won 5-1 because we’re sh*t at defending”. Penny for the centre-half’s thoughts right now.
Here’s his rant in full.
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We counted at least six references to ‘sh*t’ and or ‘piss’. Just under one a minute.
As you can see, he also had very little time for the referees on the day, insisting that the “officials were so bad it was unbelievable.
“I’ve got to say, honestly, they should pack it in — literally pack in doing what they do”. He really wasn’t letting anyone off the hook.”
He went on to argue that the National League should get rid of what he perceived as an obstructive over-reliance on headsets, describing the refs as appalling and akin to “Domino’s drivers all talking to each other” to the point that the first official “can’t ref his own game anymore”.
While we can only sympathise with the Dorking players who are undoubtedly in for a rough week of training and equally hilarious bollockings, we’re just glad we got to better familiarise ourselves with a straight-talking manager as they’re an increasingly rare commodity these days.
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Sitting 16th in the standings, Dorking face Kidderminster Harriers in the FA Trophy on Saturday, 14 January and travel to 21st-placed Gateshead for their next league game next week.
Part-time or not, White and his men will no doubt be hoping to get back to winning ways against two very beatable prospects.
For now, you can watch the full Dorking vs Oldham highlights down below. We’re sure Oldham fans will be happy more than to.
‘Best signing of the summer’: Stockport County fans react to Dave Challinor’s new contract
Danny Jones
Stockport County fans are buzzing with their first and arguably ‘biggest’ signing of the summer, as manager Dave Challinor has penned a new contract at Edgeley Park.
The majority of match-goers in Stockport have fallen in love with Challinor over the past few years, with the former County centre-back having now spent nearly four years as the boss and overseeing one of the best periods in their history during that time.
With seven promotions across four different clubs, three of those coming at Edgeley Park, he’s been touted as one of the EFL‘s most underrated and quietly successful coaches in recent times.
All that being said, and with the 49-year-old now signing a new deal at the club, supporters like those behind the popular The Scarf Bergara Wore fan podcast have said, “Could be the best signing of our summer, that” – a similar sentiment has been echoed in pretty much everyone’s reaction.
Congratulations to Dave, a superb manager – would expect Stockport to play in the Championship in that time. Not many can say they’ve had success everywhere they’ve been, but he can
As you can see, while some jokingly said they were waiting to hear former Aston Villa loanee Louie Barry had been re-signed, the overwhelming consensus is that this is “superb news” for the thriving Greater Manchester side.
Having only just missed out on yet another promotion, which would have seen SCFC back in the Championship after more than two decades (having last spent time in the second division during the 2002/23 campaign, lasting just one season), keeping him tied down wasn’t a certainty.
The Chester-born ex-pro turned manager has attracted plenty of interest since his heroics at AFC Fylde and now at Stockport County, but owner and Vita Group founder, Mark Stott, as well as CEO Simon Wilson and the rest of the board were more than ready to reward his efforts with a new three-year deal.
If all goes to plan, this will see him remain at the club until at least 2028 if they make it into the Championship as planned, who knows how much longer after that.
Speaking on the new contract, Dave Challinor said via an official club statement, “I’m delighted to extend my stay at the Club beyond the end of the upcoming season. Last season gives me even more motivation to improve and aim to meet the shared objectives we have.
“I’m still highly ambitious, and feel that what we have built here over the last three-and-a-half years makes County somewhere that I want to continue to build, alongside my staff, players and everyone involved at the Club.”
‘Chally’ went on to add: “Last season gives me even more motivation to improve and aim to meet the shared objectives we have.
“I’m still highly ambitious, and feel that what we have built here over the last three-and-a-half years makes County somewhere that I want to continue to build, alongside my staff, players and everyone involved at the Club.
“A manager’s tenure at any football club is getting shorter and shorter, and I feel proud to have been at Edgeley Park for as long as I have. That comes from the trust placed in me by Mark and Simon to come in and have a positive impact, and I thank them both for that.”
Kyle Walker set to leave Manchester City on a free transfer with at least two clubs monitoring
Danny Jones
Kyle Walker looks to be leaving Manchester City after the best part of eight years and could be set to join another Premier League clubif reports are to be believed.
The long-serving Man City and England defender has been at the Etihad Stadium throughout the most successful spell, but has gradually fallen out of favour with Pep Guardiola of late.
Walker regularly played more than 30 games per campaign under the Catalan coach for seven years, but was ultimately loaned out to AC Milan for the remainder of the 2024/25 season, where he made just over a dozen appearances.
Despite being one of the first names on the team sheet for the longest time, the Sheffield-born full-back has grown to become somewhat of a divisive figure among the fan base. As a result, he is now preparing to find a new club with his contract expiring this summer, and Everton is said to be interested.
🚨🔵 Kyle Walker (35) is seen as a potential signing for Everton this summer, reports @mcgrathmike/@TeleFootball! 🏴
This transfer update comes from Telegraph journalist Mike McGrath, who writes that the Merseyside club have identified Walker as a possibility, with David Moyes looking to recruit additions to his backline.
According to McGrath, “Kyle Walker [is] seen as a potential signing for Everton this summer with David Moyes looking at signing a right-back”, adding that the departure of former Aston Villa and Manchester United player, Ashley Young, as well as Jack O’Brien’s ability to play central makes it a viable option.
Were he to be picked up by the often struggling top-flight team, the 35-year-old would be yet another senior appointment to bolster the defensive ranks, effectively replacing Young (38).
The Toffees have flirted with the relegation zone in recent times, but with previously popular manager Moyes having returned to the club and now set to begin a maiden chapter at the new Hill Dickinson Stadium on Bramley Moore Dock, the first division veteran and serial winner could be a key signing.
Walker asked to leave the club back in January, securing his loan spell in Serie A shortly after, but as he is soon set to leave permanently as a free agent, he could prove a good bit of business for Everton.
🗞️Kyle Walker would cost a nominal or potentially no fee, while Everton also have interest in soon to be free agents Kenny Tete, Vladimir Coufal and Kyle Walker-Peters
Other suitors are said to include Fenerbahçe SK, with a number of European players entering the latter stages of their career opting for a switch to the Turkish league.
However, with still plenty of strength, pace and experience in a number of defensive positions, Walker will no doubt favour his chances remaining in the ever-competitive and fast-paced Premier League.
What about you, Blues – will you be sad to see him go?
Danny Jones -
9th January 2023 
