Heinz has created its own Christmas dinner in a tin – and we don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Comprised of pigs in blankets, “big chunks” of turkey, Brussel sprouts, sage and onion stuffing, roast potatoes, red cabbage, gravy, and cranberry sauce, the company has – seemingly unironically – crammed one of the best meals of the year into a depressingly compact, 400g aluminum tin.
The canned Christmas dinner is being marketed by Heinz as an answer to the food shortages the UK is currently experiencing, with a brand spokesperson championing it “a winner”.
Listed for sale online only, it has been released as a limited edition of just 500 cans – with the company already hinting it could roll it out in greater numbers next year if it proves a hit with shoppers.
Given that it’s already sold out online since going live this morning, that may well end up being the case.
ADVERTISEMENT
Brand representative Anke Von Hanstein said: “It is made for those with a big love for hearty festive flavours and tastes just perfect with a slice of warm crusty bread.
“Any soup that includes pigs in blankets and roasties is a winner in our eyes.”
ADVERTISEMENT
Technically more of a soup than a proper Christmas dinner, the Christmas Dinner Big Soup is priced at £1.50 per can and contains two servings.
Its roll-out has definitely caused some amusement online, but it also points to a darker reality as Christmas approaches, living costs rise and the fear of empty shelves becomes a reality – with many supermarkets already using cardboard cutouts to conceal the numerous gaps caused by pandemic and Brexit-related shortages.
Of course, who knows – it could always catch on and the country could discard its beloved roast dinners in favour of a tin of canned soup. It seems like anything goes these days.
ADVERTISEMENT
It’s not the first time such an aberration to our favourite meal has appeared, either.
In 2013, Chris Godfrey developed a Christmas dinner in a can for GAME – a ‘nine-layer feast’ made especially for “gamers who can’t tear themselves away from their new games and consoles on Christmas Day.”
Starting with a scrambled egg and bacon layer for breakfast, it was followed by lunch (mincemeat pies, turkey and potatoes, gravy, bread sauce, cranberry sauce, Brussel sprouts or broccoli with stuffing, roast carrots and parsnips).
The can then ended with dessert, made up of a Christmas pudding and a custard layer.
The ‘Christmas tinner’ fast became a meme, even earning its own subreddit.
ADVERTISEMENT
One of the most famous memes read: “the thing about Britain is this could be a joke but it could also be real.”
Well, we’re certainly through the looking glass now.
Trending
Antoine Semenyo has officially joined Manchester City
Danny Jones
Yes, Man City have got their man and further bolstered their offensive options, with Bournemouth star Antoine Semenyo having officially joined the club.
Having emerged as one of the Premier League’s hottest properties over the past couple of years, Antoine Semenyo has gone from not only being an extremely prolific winger, but beyond a flavour of the month, with multiple teams expressing their interest in recent months.
That being said, despite being linked with local rivals Manchester United, current champions Liverpool and an already heavily staffed Chelsea side, MCFC have now won the race to sign Semenyo – one they seem to have been leading since the start.
Finally unveiled by club media on Friday, 9 January, Semenyo was pictured for the first time in the sky blue strip.
It was long after that the first reports of the deal being ‘agreed in principle” surfaced online, and it became clear that no other suitors stood a chance of snatching him away from the Etihad Stadium.
Semenyo’s release clause was set at £65 million, which is approximately the same figure they sold former striker Dominic Solanke to Spurs for, but inevitable add-ons and bonuses were likely to set a rough club record fee in terms of player sales.
Penning a five-and-a-half-year deal, the 26-year-old’s contract will take him through to at least 2031, with the London-born Ghanaian international still yet to hit his peak.
Frightening stuff for Premier League defenders, to say the least.
Sharing a message with his new fan base via the full club statement, Semenyo said: “I am so proud to have joined Manchester City…
“They have set the highest of standards, and it’s a club with world-class players, world-class facilities and one of the greatest managers ever in Pep. I have so much scope for improvement, so to be at this club, at this stage of my career, is perfect for me. It’s a real privilege to be here.
“My best football is yet to come, I am sure of that. And City are in a great position – still involved in four competitions. I really feel I can help them have a strong second half of the season. The Etihad is my new home. I can’t wait to play in front of the fans here, and I hope to show everyone what I can do.”
Happy with the business, Blues? And as for you neutrals, do you think it’s the right next step for him?
Watch Semenyo’s first full interview as a Manchester City player.
Manchester United fans planning another major protest amid more upheaval around the club
Danny Jones
Manchester United supporters look set to stage another high-profile demonstration in protest against the INEOS Sports ownership group.
This is the latest response to the club’s continuing struggles, and not just the first proper organised mobilisation of the year, but the first since the most recent major march last spring.
Following the sacking of ‘manager’ Ruben Amorim, despite co-owner Jim Ratcliffe and his board of executives insisting that the Portuguese head coach (that distinction proving to be a crucial detail), the local sporting giants are once again starting from scratch and looking for another replacement boss.
With that in mind, militant fan group The 1958 announced their most recent protest ahead of a home fixture next month in a rather bold fashion…
As announced we protest against this dysfunctional co-ownership before Fulham.
Yep, neither Amorim, Erik ten Hag, Ole Gunnar Solskjær, nor any face even remotely associated with Old Trafford/Carrington is safe from an AI parody.
As for The 1958 group’s actual protest plans, speaking via the BBC this week, the supporters’ trust has confirmed that they will be making a vocal statement outside the stadium on Sunday, 1 February.
Travelling Reds already made their thoughts known with a very blunt, provocative and somewhat controversial banner in the away end at Turf Moor for the 2-2 draw against Burnley.
With Man United approaching a third-round FA Cup tie against Brighton and two big games in the form of a Manchester Derby at home and a trip to Arsenal, they have decided to choose the Fulham game at Old Trafford to stage the march.
Despite admitting that the results under Amorim were no way near good enough, they insist that the – most notably the overarching and Glazer family shadow ever looming over the organisation.
Further details around the actual timings and locations are still yet to be shared by the organisers, but you can expect this to be a well-attended, large-scale event.
Often convening at The Tollgate pub near regular matchday tram stop, Trafford Bar, before walking down Talbot Road towards the ground itself, we imagine Reds will then descend upon the Theatre of Dreams in their thousands.
In case you didn’t already surmise from the video itself, Ratcliffe and co. will be no doubt the subject of the usual chants, as well as more banners and flags.
What do you make of the latest plans, Man United fans?
Nothing will ever be quite as bold as the infamous Old Trafford break-in from 2022 (Credit: The Manc)
Georgina Pellant -
1st November 2021 
