Heinz has created its own Christmas dinner in a tin – and we don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Comprised of pigs in blankets, “big chunks” of turkey, Brussel sprouts, sage and onion stuffing, roast potatoes, red cabbage, gravy, and cranberry sauce, the company has – seemingly unironically – crammed one of the best meals of the year into a depressingly compact, 400g aluminum tin.
The canned Christmas dinner is being marketed by Heinz as an answer to the food shortages the UK is currently experiencing, with a brand spokesperson championing it “a winner”.
Listed for sale online only, it has been released as a limited edition of just 500 cans – with the company already hinting it could roll it out in greater numbers next year if it proves a hit with shoppers.
Given that it’s already sold out online since going live this morning, that may well end up being the case.
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Brand representative Anke Von Hanstein said: “It is made for those with a big love for hearty festive flavours and tastes just perfect with a slice of warm crusty bread.
“Any soup that includes pigs in blankets and roasties is a winner in our eyes.”
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Technically more of a soup than a proper Christmas dinner, the Christmas Dinner Big Soup is priced at £1.50 per can and contains two servings.
Its roll-out has definitely caused some amusement online, but it also points to a darker reality as Christmas approaches, living costs rise and the fear of empty shelves becomes a reality – with many supermarkets already using cardboard cutouts to conceal the numerous gaps caused by pandemic and Brexit-related shortages.
Of course, who knows – it could always catch on and the country could discard its beloved roast dinners in favour of a tin of canned soup. It seems like anything goes these days.
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It’s not the first time such an aberration to our favourite meal has appeared, either.
In 2013, Chris Godfrey developed a Christmas dinner in a can for GAME – a ‘nine-layer feast’ made especially for “gamers who can’t tear themselves away from their new games and consoles on Christmas Day.”
Starting with a scrambled egg and bacon layer for breakfast, it was followed by lunch (mincemeat pies, turkey and potatoes, gravy, bread sauce, cranberry sauce, Brussel sprouts or broccoli with stuffing, roast carrots and parsnips).
The can then ended with dessert, made up of a Christmas pudding and a custard layer.
The ‘Christmas tinner’ fast became a meme, even earning its own subreddit.
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One of the most famous memes read: “the thing about Britain is this could be a joke but it could also be real.”
Well, we’re certainly through the looking glass now.
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This Manchester hotel has a Bonfire Night ‘escape’ package for pets to help keep them calm
Emily Sergeant
One of Manchester’s most luxurious hotels is transforming into the ultimate pet refuge again over the firework season.
Bonfire Night is loved across the UK for the spectacular firework displays and all the festive-themed activities that go along with it, but the November annual event isn’t so fun for our four-legged friends, as fireworks can be frightening to pets due to loud bangs, flashing lights, and the unpleasant strong smell of spent explosives.
With multiple bangs occurring from numerous displays too, pets are rarely able to pinpoint where the booming explosions are coming from, only making it more terrifying for them.
This is why, after becoming a huge success following its launch last year, Kimpton Clocktower Hotel in the heart of the city centre has brought back its special ‘Bonfire Night Escape’ escape package, turning the already pet-friendly hotel into a firework-free sanctuary.
The hotel‘s year-round ‘PAWfect Stay’ package includes any dog staying at no extra cost, plus a pet tuckbox, a guide to the best dog-friendly places in the city, and a toy waiting for them in the room, but this fireworks season, pet owners will also get a luxury hamper including Pet Remedy’s ‘Party Season Survival Kit’
The kit comes together with a range of fast-acting products to help immediately in stressful situations such as fireworks, and includes calming spray, a plug diffuser, and some calming wipes too.
On top of that, dog owners can also take advantage of the hotel’s Music Concierge service, which allows guests to request a record player and vinyls to be placed in the room ahead of check in – with lots of classical and relaxing music records available to distract anxious pets from the noise of Bonfire Night celebrations.
Kimpton Clocktower Hotel has a Bonfire Night ‘escape’ package to help keep pets calm / Credit: Elisha Terada (via Unsplash)
The award-winning The Refuge Bar and Restaurant inside the hotel also offers a menu of carefully-curated dog treats throughout the week, as well as doggy Sunday roasts all Sunday.
David Lockhart, who is the General Manager at Kimpton Clocktower Hotel, said he likes to think of the hotel as a “home-away-from-home for our guests”.
“Our top priority is making sure everyone is feeling safe and comfortable,” he added. “We can’t wait to welcome our November guests and help them care for their four-legged family members, giving them everything they need.”
The Bonfire Night Escape package at Kimpton Clocktower Hotel is available to book from Friday 1 November, subject to availability, and you can request the package via the hotel concierge or by emailing [email protected] to book.
Scissor Sisters confirm reunion after more than a decade ahead of massive Manchester gig
Danny Jones
Still a firm cult favourite from the 2000s, Scissor Sisters are officially back and are bringing a special reunion tour to Manchester and the UK and Ireland at large.
The American outfit were one of the biggest and most well-known pop groups on this side of the Atlantic during their heyday, notching three BRIT Awards and two number-one albums.
Starting out in New York, like many bands in an oversaturated music market, they ended up proving to be much more popular here in Britain than they ever did in the US, not to mention becoming real icons among the LGBTQ+ community.
And now, over a decade later, the Scissor Sisters are set to repay the likes of Manchester, Leeds, London and more with a series of comeback shows, including one at Co-op Live arena – a gig which the venue has already teased earlier this week.
Confirming the reunion on social media on Thursday, 10 October, the band said: “Exciting news, for the first time in over a decade, we will come together again, live next May across the UK and Ireland.
“And for the first time ever, our debut album Scissor Sisters will be performed in full in celebration of its 20th anniversary – alongside all the other Scissor hits from along the way… See you very soon. Jake, Babydaddy, Del.”
Long-time fans were quick to notice that there was no mention of fellow founding member Ana Matronic nor former drummer Randy Real; the band themselves told BBC that the current lineup following their indefinite hiatus is by no means a way of replacing anyone but does give them a chance “to get some people on stage and ask some friends to do fun things.”
Frontman Shears’ 2023 Cabaret co-star, Rebecca Lucy Taylor, was also teased with a possible appearance on the Scissor Sisters reunion tour. Either way, they’ve promised a “little bit of chaos, anarchy” and an “‘anything can happen’ energy again.”
It’s been 12 whole years since we last saw them out on the road, so it’s only fitting that they give us a dozen UK/IE dates, starting at Nottingham’s Motorpoint Arena before bringing the comeback party down the home stretch in Dublin.
Scissor Sisters are set to stun the Manchester crowd with their Co-op Live debut on Wednesday, 21 May 2025, with special guest support from Alison Goldfrapp of the iconic electronic music duo, and we truly really can’t wait to roll back the years with them.
Pre-sale goes live on Wednesday, 6 November at 10am which you can access via their website and general admission tickets will be available from the same time the following Friday, 8 November.
We can’t wait to hear all the favourites – ‘Filthy/Gorgeous’, ‘I Don’t Feel Like Dancin”, ‘Take Your Mama’ and more – but, until then, the announcements coming out of Manchester’s biggest new music venue just don’t stop…
Georgina Pellant -
1st November 2021 
