Heinz has created its own Christmas dinner in a tin – and we don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Comprised of pigs in blankets, “big chunks” of turkey, Brussel sprouts, sage and onion stuffing, roast potatoes, red cabbage, gravy, and cranberry sauce, the company has – seemingly unironically – crammed one of the best meals of the year into a depressingly compact, 400g aluminum tin.
The canned Christmas dinner is being marketed by Heinz as an answer to the food shortages the UK is currently experiencing, with a brand spokesperson championing it “a winner”.
Listed for sale online only, it has been released as a limited edition of just 500 cans – with the company already hinting it could roll it out in greater numbers next year if it proves a hit with shoppers.
Given that it’s already sold out online since going live this morning, that may well end up being the case.
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Brand representative Anke Von Hanstein said: “It is made for those with a big love for hearty festive flavours and tastes just perfect with a slice of warm crusty bread.
“Any soup that includes pigs in blankets and roasties is a winner in our eyes.”
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Technically more of a soup than a proper Christmas dinner, the Christmas Dinner Big Soup is priced at £1.50 per can and contains two servings.
Its roll-out has definitely caused some amusement online, but it also points to a darker reality as Christmas approaches, living costs rise and the fear of empty shelves becomes a reality – with many supermarkets already using cardboard cutouts to conceal the numerous gaps caused by pandemic and Brexit-related shortages.
Of course, who knows – it could always catch on and the country could discard its beloved roast dinners in favour of a tin of canned soup. It seems like anything goes these days.
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It’s not the first time such an aberration to our favourite meal has appeared, either.
In 2013, Chris Godfrey developed a Christmas dinner in a can for GAME – a ‘nine-layer feast’ made especially for “gamers who can’t tear themselves away from their new games and consoles on Christmas Day.”
Starting with a scrambled egg and bacon layer for breakfast, it was followed by lunch (mincemeat pies, turkey and potatoes, gravy, bread sauce, cranberry sauce, Brussel sprouts or broccoli with stuffing, roast carrots and parsnips).
The can then ended with dessert, made up of a Christmas pudding and a custard layer.
The ‘Christmas tinner’ fast became a meme, even earning its own subreddit.
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One of the most famous memes read: “the thing about Britain is this could be a joke but it could also be real.”
Well, we’re certainly through the looking glass now.
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Pep Guardiola delivers gutting news as Man City are hit with Erling Haaland injury blow
Danny Jones
Pep Guardiola has passed on some gutting fitness news for Manchester City fans as star striker Erling Haaland is confirmed to be injured for several weeks and could even miss the rest of the Premier League season.
The title might be out of reach this year, and the Champions League knockout against Real Madrid was definitely hard for Blues to take, but with Man City into the semi-finals of the FA Cup, there’s still a very strong chance they could end 2024/25 with a piece of silverware.
However, they’ll have to make it through another two massive rounds at Wembley and seemingly the remainder of the season without Haaland and his goals, as the Catalan coach revealed that the club expects him to be out injured for “six to seven weeks.”
Not exactly how City fans would have wanted to see the rest of an already frustrating season play out.
🗣️ "We don't have another player with his skills."
Relaying diagnosis from the medical team, Pep said the hope is that the big Norwegian number nine could be back for the very tail end of the campaign, but at the very least, he “will be ready for the [FIFA Club] World Cup.”
He went on to add that “these kinds of things happen” and that he feels “sorry” for all of the other injuries that have befell his squad up till now, adding that they can only hope for a speedy recovery and for him to return as soon as possible.
The 24-year-old hasn’t had too many big injury problems in his career thus far, although his longest spell on the sidelines did come at the end of 2023 when a stress fracture kept him out until the new year.
This time around, Haaland suffered an injury to his ankle during the City’s FA Cup win over Bournemouth on Sunday following a challenge from defensive midfielder Lewis Cook.
He was forced in the second half and was seen leaving the Vitality Stadium on crutches after the game.
Erling Haaland seen leaving Bournemouth in a protective boot and crutches. 🤕
Having led the golden boot race for a good chunk of the season – as he’s become accustomed too since he arrived in England – City‘s sub-optimal season has seen him slink into second behind high-flying Mo Salah on 27, but he still has a couple dozen goals and a trio of assists to show for it.
Speaking of Salah, the soon-to-leave ‘Egyptian King’ has been the talisman for Liverpool this season, and his contributions could see them lift the trophy in Arne Slot’s first season as early as 13 April, depending on how fellow title rivals Arsenal fare in their next two matches.
As for how City round out their domestic campaign, reclaiming the FA Cup after last year’s derby disappointment looks like the main goal.
You can watch Pep Guardiola’s press conference ahead of the game against Leicester City at 19:45pm tomorrow (Wednesday, 2 April) in full HERE.
Hilarious study names Manchester as one of the UK’s most hungover cities
Emily Sergeant
Manchester has been named one of the UK’s most hungover cities, according to a hilarious new study.
Let’s be honest, we’ve all had one of those mornings – or a lot more than one, for many of us.
The kind where you wake up regretting ordering that last pint, or your decision to mix your drinks, questioning every life choice while desperately Googling ‘hangover cures that actually work’… but it turns out that some UK cities are way more prone to struggling with hangovers than others, and Manchester is one of them.
In a bid to uncover where in the country people are searching for hangover cures the most, alcohol-free beer brand Mash Gang has crunched the numbers and analysed more than 5.5 million Google searches across every city.
Manchester has been named one of the UK’s most hungover cities / Credit: Kraken Images (via Unsplash)
We always knew Manchester would be close to the top, but in this instance, we’ve actually just missed out on the number one spot, as our city has officially been ranked the second most hungover in the UK, just behind the ‘undisputed hungover capital’ itself, which is Birmingham.
According to the study, whether it’s the legendary Northern Quater or the city’s famous Gay Village, us Mancs are waking up with sore heads a lot more than anywhere else in the North.
While the North can often be underrepresented in top 10 lists, this doesn’t seem to be the case here, as other major cities such as Liverpool, Leeds, and Sheffield have all earned their place.
UK’s top 10 most hungover cities
Birmingham
Manchester
Liverpool
Bristol
Leeds
Newcastle
Sheffield
Plymouth
Coventry
Wolverhampton
It’s all according to a new survey finding the city with the most sore heads in the country / Credit: Mylo Kaye (via Unsplash)
On the other end of the scale, Ripon has emerged as the UK’s least hungover city, closely followed by Carlisle, which means that if you’re looking for a place to escape temptation, or to just find people who actually get up early on weekends, then you know where to head to.
As well as the top 10 list, Mash Gang’s analysis data also showed just how much people are looking for hangover solutions, as in just the past month alone, there have been 178,000 searches for “hair of the dog,” and the search term “hangover food” has been looked up 72,000 times in the same period.
On top of this, searches for ‘zebra striping’ – which is a method where people alternate alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks to lessen the impact of drinking – have also increased by 424% in the past quarter.
Georgina Pellant -
1st November 2021 
