Heinz has created its own Christmas dinner in a tin – and we don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Comprised of pigs in blankets, “big chunks” of turkey, Brussel sprouts, sage and onion stuffing, roast potatoes, red cabbage, gravy, and cranberry sauce, the company has – seemingly unironically – crammed one of the best meals of the year into a depressingly compact, 400g aluminum tin.
The canned Christmas dinner is being marketed by Heinz as an answer to the food shortages the UK is currently experiencing, with a brand spokesperson championing it “a winner”.
Listed for sale online only, it has been released as a limited edition of just 500 cans – with the company already hinting it could roll it out in greater numbers next year if it proves a hit with shoppers.
Given that it’s already sold out online since going live this morning, that may well end up being the case.
ADVERTISEMENT
Brand representative Anke Von Hanstein said: “It is made for those with a big love for hearty festive flavours and tastes just perfect with a slice of warm crusty bread.
“Any soup that includes pigs in blankets and roasties is a winner in our eyes.”
ADVERTISEMENT
Technically more of a soup than a proper Christmas dinner, the Christmas Dinner Big Soup is priced at £1.50 per can and contains two servings.
Its roll-out has definitely caused some amusement online, but it also points to a darker reality as Christmas approaches, living costs rise and the fear of empty shelves becomes a reality – with many supermarkets already using cardboard cutouts to conceal the numerous gaps caused by pandemic and Brexit-related shortages.
Of course, who knows – it could always catch on and the country could discard its beloved roast dinners in favour of a tin of canned soup. It seems like anything goes these days.
ADVERTISEMENT
It’s not the first time such an aberration to our favourite meal has appeared, either.
In 2013, Chris Godfrey developed a Christmas dinner in a can for GAME – a ‘nine-layer feast’ made especially for “gamers who can’t tear themselves away from their new games and consoles on Christmas Day.”
Starting with a scrambled egg and bacon layer for breakfast, it was followed by lunch (mincemeat pies, turkey and potatoes, gravy, bread sauce, cranberry sauce, Brussel sprouts or broccoli with stuffing, roast carrots and parsnips).
The can then ended with dessert, made up of a Christmas pudding and a custard layer.
The ‘Christmas tinner’ fast became a meme, even earning its own subreddit.
ADVERTISEMENT
One of the most famous memes read: “the thing about Britain is this could be a joke but it could also be real.”
Well, we’re certainly through the looking glass now.
Trending
Tommy Fury vs Darren Till press conference descends into foul-mouthed chaos
Danny Jones
The first press conference ahead of Tommy Fury vs Darren Till was held on Tuesday evening and it didn’t take long for the whole thing to descend into absolute bedlam.
Having only been confirmed on Sunday, Fury vs Till will be a homecoming bout for the Wythenshawe-born fighter who is set to headline the first-ever boxing match at Manchester’s Co-op Live arena.
With the date set for 18 January, the pre-fight build-up and media frenzy are growing fast and things have already come to ahead in just the first meeting between the two fighters in London this week.
Clearly sharing plenty of bad blood already, while Tommy and Till were engaging in the usual fighting talk, the family patriarch, John Fury, decided to interject and it was at this point that things boiled over.
‼️ Tommy Fury vs Darren Till press conference descends into chaos as Till tells John Fury: "Shut up, you haven't been seen since Oleksandr Usyk battered Tyson."
As you can see, amidst the various insults being thrown around regarding intelligence, boxing ability, Tommy’s older brother Tyson being “battered by [Oleksandr] Usyk”, ‘Big John’ then launches a bottle of water across the table at Till, sparking a hot-tempered on-stage skirmish.
The lengthy exchange features as many expletives as you could imagine, with 31-year-old Darren Till also threatening that he will “bladder” both Tommy and his more established heavyweight sibling Tyson, labelling the entire Fury family “shithouses” as they walk out of the London press conference.
A mixed martial artist by trade who has competed at both welterweight and middleweight in the UFC, Till assured that even if the boxing match isn’t going his way on the night, he will kick [him] square in [the] face”, adding that he’s a “proper fighter” and that Tommy, on the other hand, has no power.
YouTube turned musician and occasional boxer, KSI – the founder of the Misfits promotion who is putting on the event and who Fury beat back in October last year – can also be heard whooping from centre stage and shouting, “Get your tickets!”
Even after the mini-brawl is separated, the foul-mouthed back and forth continues for some time. You can see another angle here:
Press conference aftermath 🤯@darrentill2 was going IN on the Fury’s 😳
This isn’t the first time things have boiled over at a Fury press conference; in fact, it’s not even the first time John Fury, 59, has found himself in the very eye of the storm.
Meanwhile, the youngest Fury son is preparing first his first fight in over a year, having nearly joined this year’s I’m a Celeb lineup instead.
Tickets for the now highly-anticipated boxing match at Co-op Live, just the second combat sports event to have been held at the arena, are on sale now – you can grab yours HERE. It’s going to be a feisty one.
Festive Grinch-themed cafes to pop up inside Greater Manchester Primark stores
Emily Sergeant
Festive Grinch-themed cafes are popping up inside two of Primark’s biggest Greater Manchester stores in the run-up to Christmas.
As the temperatures turn colder by the day, the nights draw in, and the most wonderful time of the year nears closer and closer, it won’t be long before it’s time to snuggle up in our comfies and pop on the first Christmas film of the year – and for some of us, there’s a good chance that first film of choice will be The Grinch.
Whether you prefer the 2000 fantasy comedy starring Jim Carey, or the 2018 animated reboot with Benedict Cumberbatch, it’s undoubtedly a real family favourite.
To celebrate everyone’s favourite grumpy green grouch, Primark has teamed up with Dr. Seuss once again on a Grinch-tastic collaboration.
Festive Grinch-themed cafes have popped up inside Greater Manchester Primark stores / Credit: Supplied
Shoppers can now head to their nearest Primark store to find the largest-ever Grinch collection, with something for the whole family, as well as great gifting options said to be “ideal for getting into the anti-Christmas spirit”.
There’s Grinch pyjamas and slippers for both adults and kids, a Grinch ‘Onesie’ that’s sure to make people green with envy, Grinch drinks cups and mugs, a selection of loungewear and Christmas jumpers for festive dressing, and so much more, as well as whole host of Grinch-inspired outfits and toys for your four-legged friends too.
As part of Primark’s aim to offer affordable choices for everyone, prices for the Grinch collection start at just £1 for accessories, and go up to £24 for adult clothing.
If the return of the Grinch collection wasn’t exciting enough as it is, the all-new Grinch cafes – which are popping up in Primark on Market Street in Manchester city centre, as well as Primark in Trafford Palazzo – are bound to be hit with fans of the furry character.
There’s everything from green waffles and themed milkshakes, to festive toasties, hot drinks, and more on the menu.
With Greater Manchester Grinch cafes set to be open until the end of December, Sarah Jackson – who is the Director of Licensing at Primark, said: “We’re so excited to roll out our amazing cafe experience across a number of our UK locations, bringing a sprinkle of mischief to our customers this festive season.
“Whether you’re stopping in for a sweet treat or stocking up on pyjamas and gifts for the whole family, we have everything you need to make it a truly unforgettable Grinch-mas.”
Georgina Pellant -
1st November 2021 
