Heinz has created its own Christmas dinner in a tin – and we don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Comprised of pigs in blankets, “big chunks” of turkey, Brussel sprouts, sage and onion stuffing, roast potatoes, red cabbage, gravy, and cranberry sauce, the company has – seemingly unironically – crammed one of the best meals of the year into a depressingly compact, 400g aluminum tin.
The canned Christmas dinner is being marketed by Heinz as an answer to the food shortages the UK is currently experiencing, with a brand spokesperson championing it “a winner”.
Listed for sale online only, it has been released as a limited edition of just 500 cans – with the company already hinting it could roll it out in greater numbers next year if it proves a hit with shoppers.
Given that it’s already sold out online since going live this morning, that may well end up being the case.
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Brand representative Anke Von Hanstein said: “It is made for those with a big love for hearty festive flavours and tastes just perfect with a slice of warm crusty bread.
“Any soup that includes pigs in blankets and roasties is a winner in our eyes.”
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Technically more of a soup than a proper Christmas dinner, the Christmas Dinner Big Soup is priced at £1.50 per can and contains two servings.
Its roll-out has definitely caused some amusement online, but it also points to a darker reality as Christmas approaches, living costs rise and the fear of empty shelves becomes a reality – with many supermarkets already using cardboard cutouts to conceal the numerous gaps caused by pandemic and Brexit-related shortages.
Of course, who knows – it could always catch on and the country could discard its beloved roast dinners in favour of a tin of canned soup. It seems like anything goes these days.
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It’s not the first time such an aberration to our favourite meal has appeared, either.
In 2013, Chris Godfrey developed a Christmas dinner in a can for GAME – a ‘nine-layer feast’ made especially for “gamers who can’t tear themselves away from their new games and consoles on Christmas Day.”
Starting with a scrambled egg and bacon layer for breakfast, it was followed by lunch (mincemeat pies, turkey and potatoes, gravy, bread sauce, cranberry sauce, Brussel sprouts or broccoli with stuffing, roast carrots and parsnips).
The can then ended with dessert, made up of a Christmas pudding and a custard layer.
The ‘Christmas tinner’ fast became a meme, even earning its own subreddit.
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One of the most famous memes read: “the thing about Britain is this could be a joke but it could also be real.”
Well, we’re certainly through the looking glass now.
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Flashbacks: The timelapse of the Trafford Centre construction that’s gone viral
Danny Jones
The Trafford Centre might look like some decadent Roman emperor’s palace or as if it was plucked from the heart of Ancient Grecian city, but as anyone old enough to remember it’s opening and/or construction will tell you, it seems strange to think its not even been around for three decades yet.
As Greater Manchester’s and one of the North West’s most famous shopping centres full stop, the iconic attraction first began being built back in 1996, when John Major was Prime Minister, Manchester United were still Premier League champions, Britpop was at its peak and George Michael was number one.
It’s fair to say that a lot has changed since then and although Oasis might be back come 2025, The Trafford Centre and surrounding area are pretty unrecgonisable compared to nearly 30 years ago.
All told, it took approximately 27 months to erect the neo-classical epicentre of all things shopping, leisure, food and fanciness – and here’s what the process looked like:
With the initial 14 million sq ft shopping centre being completed in September 1998 following approximately 810 days of work, The Trafford Centre debuted to the Manc public and beyond.
It took more than 3,000 builders to bring the 60 hectare site to life at the peak of construction and since then the plot has only grown bigger, bolder and more ambitious over time.
Present day, it has everything from cinema screens and a mini Legoland to a Sea Life location, multiple bowling alleys and countless other forms of entertainment beyond just rows of shops and restaurants – hence why it remains busy pretty much year-round.
Back then, British celebrities, popular local names of note, politicians, dignitaries and prominent figures from the retail industry got to visit as part of exclusive preview events in the days before its launch date.
You can see the spectacle and fascination surrounding the official opening event here:
Seems surreal watching this today but the construction of the Trafford Centre was a huge moment not just for 0161 but all of the North.
But of course, the entire complex itself has seen multiple extensions over the years, including massive developments such as Barton Square and The Great Hall.
At the outset, it cost more than £600 million to build The Trafford Centre; the major renovations mentioned above which took place in 2008 cost another £100m and the Trafford Palazzo revamp around a decade later came in at around £75m.
There has and always will be lots of money put behind this intruguing monument to modern consumerism, and big brands will continue to flock to open units within the huge expanse whenever they can: some of the most recent being Archie’s, Flying Tiger, Sephora, Tiffany, Gymshark and more.
We’ll admit the aesthetic still makes us double-take from time to time (though not as much as confused Londoners visiting for the first time), but it’s not like this part of the world hasn’t boasted plenty of other curiosities in the past…
Featured Images — Charles Bowring (via Wikimedia Commons)/The Manc Group
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‘Nothing is eternal’: Is Pep Guardiola hinting at the end of Manchester City’s supremacy?
Danny Jones
Pep Guardiola looks to have suggested that more than a decade of Manchester City’s supremacy and Premier League dominance at the very least might be coming to an end.
Speaking in his post-match press interviews after City were knocked out of the Champions League by serial European Cup winners Real Madrid, Guardiola cut a somewhat more deflated figure than usual following the 3-1 defeat.
A Kylian Mbappe hattrick which was closed out within an hour of play was enough to stretch the aggregate score to 6-3 over the two legs and Madrid doubling their lead across the tie proved yet again why, not unlike City domestically over the last decade, they’re the kings of the continental competition.
In contrast, however, Pep seemed to accept the loss much more easily than perhaps we’ve seen in the past and rather than appearing familiarly frustrated or defiant in the press conference; instead, he seemed rather reflective, responding to one reporter: “Nothing is eternal”.
🗣️ "Nothing is eternal" – Pep Guardiola.
🔵 Subscribe to our Manchester City page on BBC Sounds for the latest interviews. #MCFC#bbcfootball
Insisting that they have to decide whether a significant rebuild is needed to keep competing at the very top level consistently as they have done since the 54-year-old arrived back in 2016, he argued that it is only with that they’ll be able to determine what comes next.
As for the result itself, he made no bones about Carlo Ancelotti’s side having “deserved it”, stating simply that “the best team won” and that fans and players alike have to “accept the reality: they were better.”
Having been a familiar foe for Pep long before he arrived in Manchester, both at Barcelona and Bayern Munich – not to mention City having faced Los Blancos a dozen times before Tuesday night since 2012 – there have been less surprising outcomes for supporters to come to terms with.
“With time, the club and everyone is going to accept what it is but for now we have 30/40 games for the Premier League next season to try and be here [in the Champions League] and to improve. Nothing is eternal”, said the Catalan coaching genius.
On the other hand, he also went on to add that it was merely a reflection on the night itself and not what his team have achieved in recent years.
He went on to remark that “when we were playing outstanding it hurt more” to be knocked out of the UCL when he felt they deserved to stay in it, but still insisted: “We have been unbelievable and we have to try step by step to get better from today.” Tonight just wasn’t the night.
Who knows? Perhaps it was just some more melodrama from a manager with an undeniable flare for pageantry and playing into/in the face of narratives when he doesn’t come out on top – which hasn’t happened all that often until their dip in form this season.
Plus, there’s certainly still plenty for him and the fans to be positive about; not only has the arrival of their ‘Egyptian Prince’ and the media’s Mo Salah successor, Omar Marmoush, got plenty of people excited – especially after that first-half hattrick against Newcastle – but so too have the other January signings.
In fact, for all of his downplaying in this particular presser (which you can hear in full HERE), it felt like there were only upsides after their victory over Newcastle, even going so far as to dub new signing Nico Gonzalez a ‘mini-Rodri‘.
You can watch the highlights from the game down below:
Pep is right, nothing is eternal – but sometimes you just come up against talents like Mbappe and there’s very little anyone can do about it.
Georgina Pellant -
1st November 2021 
