A red-faced mum went viral this week with an apology she was forced to make after her “mischievous” cat brazenly stole someone’s cooked beef joint.
Meanwhile, her neighbour had also taken to social media to report that his tea had gone missing.
Can you tell where this is going?
Haydn Lawson – 20, from Colne in Lancashire – captured the attention of the community when she shared an apology to anyone who had “just had their tea pinched” in a local Facebook group earlier this week, and it didn’t take long before other eagle-eyed social media users spotted another Colne resident, Ryan, share a post claiming his beef dinner had gone missing after leaving his window open and questioned who would steal it.
Haydn had spotted her five-year-old cat Eclipse with what at first appeared to be a dead animal, but upon taking a closer look, found it was actually a “nicely cooked piece of brisket”.
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The embarrassed full-time mum said she’s “never known” anything like her cat’s greed and suspects Eclipse had a whiff of a neighbour’s dinner and seized the opportunity to take it home, leaving Haydn to track down the stolen dinner’s rightful owner.
She said she’d even buy them a new joint if she’s successful in finding the hungry victim.
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“I came into my bedroom where I was greeted by Eclipse just sitting there on my bed eating this hunk of meat.” Haydn said.
“I just laughed at first and was in shock. I thought ‘what animal am I looking at here?’, [as] she brings home rats, pigeons, crows, mice [and] she’ll bring home bits of rubbish that she’s found, [so] my first thing was to shout at her and say ‘Eclipse, what are you doing?’ just to get her away from whatever it was.”
Kennedy News & Media
Haydn still has her doubts about who the beef joint belonged to though.
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She continued: “[Ryan] lives at the other side of town. He told me where his street was and there was no chance my cat got there and back with meat in her mouth, and also, she wouldn’t have been able to get there without getting lost on the way back as it’s easily a mile or so away.
“He told me his street name and straight away I knew there was no way on this earth that my cat would have walked so far there, grabbed the meat and then walked so far back with the meat in her mouth.
“There’s so many busy roads and stuff, there wasn’t a chance”.
Despite the questioning over who’s tea had actually been stolen, the hilarious incident has still gone on to cheer up plenty of people across the region and beyond, with a picture showing the two posts side by side receiving thousands of interactions on social media, including more than 4,000 on one Instagram page.
“Looking at the comments, I thought it was absolutely hilarious,” Haydn continued.
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Kennedy News & Media
“I was just sat giggling at the pure thought of her sneaking into someone’s house and grabbing this meat. I had so many comments on it saying ‘thank you so much for sharing this – you’ve brightened my day’.
“I put a comment on the post and said ‘right, am I going to have to invest in a cat collar camera?’
“I don’t know whose beef joint it was – all I know is that she was on my bed eating it. I was well embarrassed. If I was to really truly find the person, I’ll buy them a new joint of beef.
“This cat, honestly – she’ll be the death of me.”
Although Haydn has been unable to actually track down the owner of the beef joint, she explained that there was a comment saying ‘God knows why you would have left your meat outside anyway to cool’, with a reply to it saying ‘I only turned my back for two minutes to plate up the roasties and it was gone’.
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“Now that to me sounds a hell of a lot more likely that this is their meat than [Ryan’s].” Haydn concluded.
This really is some proper internet beef.
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Former Manchester United star Patrice Evra is set to make his MMA debut very soon
Danny Jones
In another somewhat left-field turn of events in the sporting world, ex-Manchester United star Patrice Evra is set to swap his boots for gloves as he prepares to make his MMA debut.
The retired Man United player and French international ended his playing days back in 2019 after a short one-year spell at West Ham, and has mostly worked as a pundit in recent years.
Evra, 43, stunned his millions of followers online and even more football and fight fans alike by announcing he would be trying his hand at combat sports earlier this week.
Hopping on social media to confirm the news, it’s fair to say he’s already relishing the challenge.
The former left-back made 379 appearances for the Red Devils, winning 14 trophies, but this will be his first in the European division of the Professional Fighters League (PFL), the second-biggest promotion in MMA after the UFC.
As far as we know, Evra has little to no background in fighting of any discipline, even if he was used to the more physical side of the game as a defender.
Writing via X on Friday, 25 April, the 2008 Champions League and ’09 Club World Cup winner, said: “I’m officially training for my first fight with PFL Europe. They will pick my opponent… They asked who I wanna face. I said: Luis Suárez.
“I’ll pay out of pocket. He can even bite me.”
Suárez, still playing at 38, was not only found guilty of at least three instances of biting other players but was famously charged with racially abusing Patrice Evra back in 2011, with the two sharing a strong feud ever since.
Now, since the Uruguayan striker is still playing professional football over in the MLS, alongside the one and only Lionel Messi at Inter Miami, we wouldn’t hold our breaths.
Nevertheless, it seems as though he will be fighting someone on 23 May, once an opponent is selected in the coming weeks.
Evra has been training with Cameroonian-French mixed martial artist and friend, Cédric Doumbé, a former kickboxing specialist and now an established fighter in the welterweight class.
Joking aside, although there are a lot of controversial moves that are legal in MMA, biting isn’t one of them – not that it ever stopped the former Liverpool forward in the past.
Speaking in an official press conference, Evra said: “I’ve performed on the world’s biggest stages, won every major trophy in football, but PFL Europe Paris will be an incredibly special night for me.
“I’ve been training alongside the best in the world for years, and they’ll also tell you I’m ready for this. I’m going to put on a show at the Accor Arena on 23 May, so come watch the spectacle.”
As out of the blue as it may seem, he obviously isn’t the only former athlete to have swapped one sport for another after calling time in their first career.
In fact, he’s not even the first United player to change lanes.
Mix-up leaves tourists bound for Peak District on a day trip to… Rochdale
Daisy Jackson
Who needs rolling hills and country pubs when you could have *checks notes* roadworks and charity shops?
Well, that’s the situation two people ended up in recently after a mix-up rerouted their trip to the Peak District to Rochdale, of all places.
Thankfully seeing the funny side, Canadian TikTok creator Mackenzie shared a video of the day trip they got stuck with.
The pair of mates had been planning a trip to the honeypot town of Castleton in the Peak District, but accidentally ended up heading over to Castleton in Rochdale instead.
In the light-hearted clip, she says: “This is just a reminder to read the small print when you want to do a spontaneous trip. Because Margarita and I thought we were going to the Peaks, and this is where we are…” while panning to the sight of some roadworks.
She continued: “We thought we were going to see gorgeous green hills. Nope.
“Anyways, come with us on our Castleton Manchester, not Peak District adventure.”
They visited Springfield Park, went to a pub to eat onion rings (with a random giant dog staring at them), erm… went to a charity shop, and looked at some houses.
Okay so not quite the Peak District paradise they were picturing.
One person commented: “Absolutely howling. Come all the way from America to end up in Rochdale” (Mackenzie stressed in her reply that she lives in Manchester and also, is Canadian).
Another said: “It’s the Springfield park for me”
Someone else suggested: “Rochdale should rename all of its areas to encourage more tourists. Hahah”
Dying to know if these girls ever made it to Castleton, Derbyshire.