Gummy bears can be a top-tier sweet treat for all ages, but the bad reviews of these bulk packs on Amazon are enough to put anyone off.
The 1lb pack of Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears have some reviews that are so bad, they really do have to be seen to be believed and we’re honestly not exaggerating either.
They’re awful, but in the best way possible.
There’s so many hilariously bad reviews that are worth including here, but we’ve picked arguably the best (or should we say worst) one to share.
One very unsatisfied customer review reads: “I sit here writing this review at 4am from my porcelain throne, a fixture you will become all too familiar with if you chose to eat these cute little bears from the pits of hell.”
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“I had to eat a pound of these little b****rds after Man City must’ve thought they were playing American football the other week, and lost to a team of Arsenal scrubs. They were a bit chewy but overall, appeared to be nothing more than your average gummy bears. After about 2 hours with little more than some mild stomach cramps, feeling like one would expect from eating a pound of any candy, I began to wonder if I’d gotten some duds.”
“Like the slow build-up of a Martin Scorsese film however, those bears were waiting for their baptism scene to destroy my insides.”
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“It started with the cramping, very akin to doing 1,000 crunches and then being forced to hold the 1,001st crunch indefinitely. Then came the initial “run” which opened the proverbial flood gates. I’m over 30 and I’m beginning to wonder if these bears know that and want to send me back to the can for each year I’ve been on this earth to make me wonder why I’d ever been born.”
It continues: “In between gastrointestinal bouts of pressure washing the inside of my toilet from my anus, I lay in bed feeling as if someone were to punch me in the stomach, I’d explode, turning the walls of my bedroom into a soiled Jackson Pollock rendition. To give you an idea, I’d spent $50 ordering a UFC pay-per-view only to willingly miss the last 2-3 fights on the main card because I didn’t want to stray too far from my master bathroom. Thankfully for me (and my marriage), fearing what might be coming, I convinced my wife to spend the evening at my sister-in-laws because trust me fellas, nothing will be gained from your significant other experiencing this with you.”
“I’m no longer in pain but am still having to make trips back to my master bath on a regular basis.”
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“Eat these if you dare but be forewarned, they are not to be trifled with unless you want your toilet to be a staging ground for repeat fecal rehearsals of “The Red Wedding” from Game of Thrones.”
Well then – what can we say?
We can only hope this is just a one-off bad batch of gummy bears, although we can’t be too sure.
What we can be sure of though is that these reviews some of the best worst reviews we’ve seen in a long time, so if you want to have a read of the rest of them, and trust us, you absolutely should do, then head on over to the Amazon listing here.
You’ll also be pleased to know that the gummy bears are no longer in-stock too.
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Coronation Street and Emmerdale cancel filming after news of cutbacks and reduced schedule
Danny Jones
Coronation Street and Emmerdale production crews are said to have cancelled at least one day of filming this week following news of more cutbacks and a reduced schedule of programming.
The beloved British soaps have been up against it for some time now, with viewing figures and costs struggling at both ends of the spectrum, and the latest development doesn’t spell great news for the cast and crew, not to mention audiences.
According to Digital Spy, regularly scheduled filming was due to take place in Manchester and Leeds on Tuesday, 5 February, with each show shooting roughly six to eight weeks in advance of storylines.
However, following reports of more hits to the industry and the latest steps ITV, specifically, which will see fewer episodes of both Corrie and Emmerdale air each week, film crews are said to have been stood down as they await further updates.
Announcing steps at the start of February, ITV confirmed that Coronation Street and Emmerdale are to see their content cut by an hour a week between them from next year.
While Corrie currently broadcasts three hour-long episodes per week and Emmerdale four half-hour episodes plus one full-hour instalment, the new slate will see both soaps dial back to only air 30-minute episodes, with a so-called ‘soaps power hour’ every both shows at 8pm and 8:30pm.
Put in simplest terms, viewers will have half an hour less of their regular soaps to watch overall each week but with episodes airing at more regular intervals, which the network claims is “viewer-led” and will allow fans to enjoy the shows “in the most digestible way.”
Metro writer Duncan Lindsay has labelled the decision as a tough one to make but something that could ultimately “save” the two long-standing soap operas in the long run.
On the other hand, this obviously means a big chunk of work being lost for those working on sets across the board, with ITV having already taken steps to cut costs ever since the pandemic, and the UK’s viewing public has given mixed reactions, to say the least.
The hour of scripted content saved from the overdue cut to Corrie and Emmerdale should be pumped into a new continuing drama. It’s the only way to justify the loss to the industry.
With an increased focus on streaming and making both shows more accessible, episodes will continue to be released from 7am on ITVX before airing on live telly later that evening.
Responding to the changes, the performing arts union Equity admitted that the steps do cause “further cause for concern”, especially following the cancellation of other soaps like Doctors and Hollyoaks also having recently seen its schedule adjusted.
It remains unclear when the respective cast and crews will return to filming.
What do you make of the cutbacks: will you miss the sum total of 60 minutes being shaved off your Corrie and Emmerdale catch-ups, or do you think it’s a bittersweet step that could help freshen up the format and sustain it for years to come?
New survey reveals one in three shoppers admits to stealing at self-checkouts
Emily Sergeant
Almost 40% of UK shoppers have failed to scan at least one item when using self-checkouts, new research has revealed.
Self-checkouts started to become popular in the UK in the 1990s, and since then have evolved to meet consumer demands and solve the problem of queueing, especially taking on a life of their own in supermarkets from the 2010s onwards… but now, some exclusive new research for The Grocer has revealed that could be causing more hassle than they’re worth.
A national survey of more than 1,000 shoppers found that only 63% said they ‘never’ failed to scan an item when using self-checkouts, which leaves almost two in five who do so at least occasionally.
A third (32%) also admitted to having weighed loose items incorrectly, while 38% said they had put through an incorrect loose item.
Experts say these statistics show that “a new breed of shoplifter” has been created.
“You’re creating opportunities for people who otherwise wouldn’t even think about shoplifting,” commented Matt Hopkins, who is an associate professor in criminology at the University of Leicester,
When it comes to the biggest culprits of failing to scan items at self-checkouts, the survey revealed that the under 35 age group, and men overall, came out as the most common, but it’s unclear whether this could be blamed on system error, missing barcodes, or rushing shoppers, instead of being intentional.
Surprisingly though, despite public perception and a recent headline-grabbing move by supermarket chain Booths to remove self-service checkouts from all but a select few of its busiest stores, this new research also shows that shoppers actually prefer to use self-checkouts (54.2%), over staffed checkouts (29.8%).
“In a short space of time, the self-checkout option has gone from zero to an accepted norm – and now to an active preference for many,” commented Lucia Juliano, the UK head of research and client success at Harris Interactive.
The speed and relative freedom provided by self-checkouts were the main advantages of using them, according to shoppers, with 56% choosing to use them because they’re faster.
52% cited the fact that self-checkouts allow them to ‘go at [their] own pace’.
Juliano did, however, comment that shoppers’ preference for self-checkouts may only be a reality “when there are no tech issues during the transaction”, which is said to be the “biggest bugbear by far” according to the survey.