Gummy bears can be a top-tier sweet treat for all ages, but the bad reviews of these bulk packs on Amazon are enough to put anyone off.
The 1lb pack of Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears have some reviews that are so bad, they really do have to be seen to be believed and we’re honestly not exaggerating either.
They’re awful, but in the best way possible.
There’s so many hilariously bad reviews that are worth including here, but we’ve picked arguably the best (or should we say worst) one to share.
One very unsatisfied customer review reads: “I sit here writing this review at 4am from my porcelain throne, a fixture you will become all too familiar with if you chose to eat these cute little bears from the pits of hell.”
ADVERTISEMENT
“I had to eat a pound of these little b****rds after Man City must’ve thought they were playing American football the other week, and lost to a team of Arsenal scrubs. They were a bit chewy but overall, appeared to be nothing more than your average gummy bears. After about 2 hours with little more than some mild stomach cramps, feeling like one would expect from eating a pound of any candy, I began to wonder if I’d gotten some duds.”
“Like the slow build-up of a Martin Scorsese film however, those bears were waiting for their baptism scene to destroy my insides.”
ADVERTISEMENT
“It started with the cramping, very akin to doing 1,000 crunches and then being forced to hold the 1,001st crunch indefinitely. Then came the initial “run” which opened the proverbial flood gates. I’m over 30 and I’m beginning to wonder if these bears know that and want to send me back to the can for each year I’ve been on this earth to make me wonder why I’d ever been born.”
Flickr
It continues: “In between gastrointestinal bouts of pressure washing the inside of my toilet from my anus, I lay in bed feeling as if someone were to punch me in the stomach, I’d explode, turning the walls of my bedroom into a soiled Jackson Pollock rendition. To give you an idea, I’d spent $50 ordering a UFC pay-per-view only to willingly miss the last 2-3 fights on the main card because I didn’t want to stray too far from my master bathroom. Thankfully for me (and my marriage), fearing what might be coming, I convinced my wife to spend the evening at my sister-in-laws because trust me fellas, nothing will be gained from your significant other experiencing this with you.”
“I’m no longer in pain but am still having to make trips back to my master bath on a regular basis.”
ADVERTISEMENT
“Eat these if you dare but be forewarned, they are not to be trifled with unless you want your toilet to be a staging ground for repeat fecal rehearsals of “The Red Wedding” from Game of Thrones.”
Well then – what can we say?
We can only hope this is just a one-off bad batch of gummy bears, although we can’t be too sure.
What we can be sure of though is that these reviews some of the best worst reviews we’ve seen in a long time, so if you want to have a read of the rest of them, and trust us, you absolutely should do, then head on over to the Amazon listing here.
You’ll also be pleased to know that the gummy bears are no longer in-stock too.
Trending
Paul Scholes blasts Ruben Amorim for ‘bull****’ response to Kobbie Mainoo question
Danny Jones
Club legend Paul Scholes has called out Manchester United boss Ruben Amorim for what he dubbed a “bull****” reaction to a question from a journalist regarding Kobbie Mainoo on Thursday.
The Portuguese coach saw his Premier League win rate clock in at just under 44% (the lowest of any Man United manager for, let’s just say, some time) after the 1-1 home draw against West Ham.
Conceding a late goal against the Irons, who are currently sat in the relegation zone, the Red Devils ultimately dropped another two points against a side that they should be beating, both based on present form and if they have any hopes of competing for the top spots.
Unsurprisingly, Amorim was pressed on why he didn’t make a more offensive substitution to try and claw back the victory, to which he then asked what looked to be a somewhat loaded question and gave this reaction after the response:
The laughter, in particular, hasn’t gone down well with everyone, especially the Class of ’92 graduate and retired midfielder.
Jumping on social media after the quotes from the Amorim press conference were out, Scholes posted on his Instagram story: Bull****. This kid is being ruined, not being played in a team that can’t control a game of football.”
He went on to add: “Hate seeing homegrown players leave, but it’s probably best for him now – enough is enough.”
First off, Reds – do you agree?
It isn’t the first time Scholes has levelled criticism at Amorim, his tactics, management and overall coaching style, having said this of their previous appointment at Old Trafford.
Paul Scholes on Ruben Amorim's tactics against 10-man Everton which frustrated him 😬 pic.twitter.com/AgsESuH83h
Safe to say he isn’t his biggest supporter at the moment.
Fellow former teammate and England international turned pundit, Gary Neville, was also left not just confused but frustrated by the performance, telling Sky Sports in his post-match interview that he noted the camera picking up “real dejection” on the faces of the fans after the full-time whistle.
With an away trip against Wolves, a home match against Bournemouth, as well as travelling to face high-flying European place competitors, Aston Villa, before hosting Newcastle on Boxing Day, it’s anyone’s guess as to how the results will pan out.
You can see the highlights from Man United vs West Ham down below.
How many points do you see them picking up over the next four fixtures?
BBC releases first look of new drama series based on inspirational journey of England men’s football team
Emily Sergeant
First look images of a new BBC drama series based on award-winning play Dear England have been released.
The four-part series based on James Graham’s Olivier-award winning play of the same name tells the story of Gareth Southgate and the England men’s football team journey to renewed success, and it’s set to air on BBC One and iPlayer next year.
Dear England is a fictionalised account of the struggles and successes of England’s football teams, based on extensive research and interviews.
The stage play premiered at the National Theatre to five-star reviews, winning an Olivier award for ‘Best New Play’, and enjoying a sell-out run in 2023 before it returned to the National Theatre earlier this year and then embarked on a national tour.
The first look images of new BBC series Dear England have been released / Credit: BBC
With the worst team track record for penalties in the world when he takes over as manager, Gareth knows he needs to open his mind and face up to the years of hurt to take England back to the promised land.
The country that gave the world football has delivered a painful pattern of loss. Why can’t the England team win at their own game?
Joseph Fiennes will reprise his Olivier award-nominated role as Gareth Southgate in the new series.
Joseph Fiennes will star as former manager Gareth Southgate / Credit: BBC
The first look pictures see Fiennes in his role for the first time in scenes depicting England’s triumphant Euro 2024 Semi-Final celebrations, where the men’s team reached their first final of a major tournament on foreign soil.
Fiennes is joined by Jodie Whittaker as England men’s team psychologist Pippa Grange, and Daniel Ryan as Steve Holland the former assistant manager, whilst Will Antenbring stars as Harry Kane, joined by an ensemble cast of upcoming actors as the rest of the team.
Among the squad cast is Adam Hugill, Josh Barrow, and screen newcomer Lewis Shepherd, who are all reprising their respective stage roles as Harry Maguire, Jordan Pickford, and Dele Alli.
Emily Sergeant -
23rd July 2020 
