We may only be a day into August, but some UK supermarkets have already started unveiling their festive food ranges for 2023.
And no, we’re not kidding.
Although we didn’t want to bring up the ‘C’ word nearly five months before the festive season is actually upon us, a handful of UK supermarkets have left us with no choice, because despite the fact August has literally just arrived, and the school summer holidays have only just started, Tesco, Asda, and more have already started releasing details about their Christmas food and drink ranges.
Considering July was a classic Greater Manchester wash-out, though, and the weather forecast for the foreseeable future looks to be much of the same, maybe there’s no harm getting in getting into the festive spirit a little earlier this year?
We’re going to bet at least a few people answered yes to that, and thankfully, there’s some real mouthwatering treats on the menu to make these early releases worthwhile.
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A sneak peak at what’s on offer at Tesco this Christmas / Credit: Tesco
Over at Tesco, you won’t just find the traditional turkey and Christmas pudding on the lineup this year, as instead, there’s inventive alternatives like a Slow Cooked Sloe Gin Duck, Pigs in Blankets Topped Steak Pie, pear-shaped Pork Liver Pâté, Monkfish & Chorizo Wellington, Prawn Snowballs, and even a whole range of festive-themed Bao buns.
For those with a sweet tooth, Tesco is serving up a Winter Orange Cheesecake and Mulled Berry Meringue Wreath, both from the ‘Finest’ range.
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There’s also a giant Christmas tree-shaped chocolate brownie to tuck into too.
Tesco is one of a handful of UK supermarkets to have already unveiled its 2023 food offering / Credit: Tesco
Can Asda rival that? Aside from the classics, the supermarket retailer is also teasing shoppers with a wide range of new festive delicacies this year.
These include Porchetta, a Speciality Cheeseboard, and a Charcuterie Ultimate Grazing Platter, all from the ‘Extra Special’ range, and a whopping 57 new vegan and 35 new Free From products too.
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When it comes to desserts and sweet treats, shoppers are spoiled for choice once again, with some of the stand-outs being a Chocolate & Honeycomb Avalanche Dessert, the Brown Butter & Spiced Dark Rum Mince Pies, and a trio of black forest-themed treats.
Some of the treats Asda is offering up this Christmas / Credit: Asda
There’s a Black Forest Yule Log, the Black Forest Stollen Bites, and the undeniably showstopping Black Forest Woodland Cake.
Although the retailer doesn’t have much of a presence in Greater Manchester, Waitrose has also unveiled its 2023 festive food range, and it’s expected that we won’t have long to wait now until the majority of other major supermarket chains also get into the Christmas spirit.
A completely objective ranking of every Quality Street sweet
Gareth Lloyd
It’s Christmas Day and dinner is done.
Dad is sat there snoozing with his mouth ajar, a glass of red wine hanging loosely between his fingers. Mum is tapping away on her phone, probably doing some intel as to how her gifts went down with relatives. An aunt, uncle and or grandparent is propped up in the corner, frowning in confusion at the “rubbish” playing on the television.
The rest of you are eyeing up the purple tub of chocolates sitting on the dining room table. Dad’s spilled drink will wake him up at any moment. Mum has nearly finished finding out if her pressies were a success. And the aunt/uncle/grandparent will soon want a distraction from that “stupid” programme they can’t understand.
Someone is about to lift the lid off the Quality Street, and then it’s game time. With a belly already fit to burst, you need to choose wisely. Not all of these chocolates are created equal, after all.
For 85 years, ranking Quality Street has proven more problematic than naming a round piece of bread (is it a barm, bap, bun, breadcake cob, roll? One problem at a time…), but we reckon we’ve cracked it.
Here’s a definitive list that ought to put you in pole position during the annual Christmas Day race for the best chocolates in the tub.
11. Toffee Penny
Chowing down on a Toffee Penny is like listening to an elderly family member trying to read aloud a long joke from a Christmas cracker.
On and on it goes, getting more tedious and uncomfortable by the second, and just as you think it’s all over, you realise it’s only getting started.
Chewy, sickly and sticky, Toffee Pennies are always among the last choccies remaining in any depleted Quality Street box. And that’s no coincidence.
10. Toffee Finger
Toffee Fingers. Credit: The Manc Group
A little less chewy and a bit more flavoursome than the Penny, the Toffee Finger is a familiar and distinctive Quality Street staple… but it’s still not something to get particularly excited about.
Maybe one is fine when it’s getting late, the layers are thinning out and you’re left staring into that abyss of scrunched-up wrappers, but otherwise, you can do far better.
This is one of the few instances in life where you should not go for gold.
9. Coconut Eclair
Coconut eclairs. Credit: The Manc Group
It’s funny how some flavours have an incredible ability to get people riled up to the point of boiling hot anger. Take coriander, for instance – a herb despised so much that someone actually made a Facebook account titled ‘I Hate Coriander’ that has since grown into a community of a quarter of a million members. The page even sells merch nowadays.
Coconut is another ingredient that seems to stir up similar sensations in certain members of the population, and a lot of people find Quality Street’s blue-wrapped choccies borderline offensive as a result (the coconutty Bounty gets the same treatment when the Celebrations come out).
Indeed, in one YouGov poll, the Coconut Eclair ranked as the least popular variety of all.
As coconut fans, we’re actually ok with it, but we appreciate there’s no way to talk anyone into giving the Eclair a second chance. The hostility towards coconut is just too strong. The people who hate it, really hate it.
8. Fudge
Fudge. Credit: The Manc Group
Fudge’s are fine. Absolutely fine. It’s just that over the years, we might have had way too many of them.
Consumer group Which? conducted research into chocolate tubs that found that Fudges are the most common flavour in any typical Quality Street box – with an average of nine appearing amongst the multicoloured rubble.
That’s a lot of fudges. And whilst they might be pretty decent, it’s just like anything else: Too much of the same and it gets a bit… meh.
7. Orange Crunch
Orange Crunch. Credit: The Manc Group
The Orange Crunch boasts a nice blend of textures and to be fair, it’s pretty damn good.
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It’s got zest, it’s got bite, and it’s got a few very, very loyal fans – some of whom will shamelessly bat away the hands of others to snap up all the little orange hexagons from the moment the Quality Street is opened.
If there’s one going spare, it’s worth grabbing. Just make sure you don’t have any die-hard Orange Crunch fans in the house. Otherwise, Christmas could get ugly.
6. Milk Choc Block
Milk Choc Block. Credit: The Manc Group
The chocolate box equivalent of a Yorkie bar, the Milk Choc Block requires a bit of effort to actually eat – so it may not be the wisest choice immediately after a gluttonous Christmas dinner. But when things have settled and you’re finally sensing a bit of wiggle room, it’s worth plucking one of these dark green wrappers from the tub and getting stuck in.
These beasty blocks are a cracking accompaniment for your afternoon/evening cuppa, and whilst they can take a while to break down, they won’t lose their flavour.
A perfect option when you’re not feeling too adventurous.
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5 & 4. Strawberry Delight / Orange Creme
Strawberry and orange fruit cremes. Credit: The Manc Group
We’re into the upper echelons of the Quality Street rankings now, and whilst some will be loathed to admit it, the fruit cremes definitely belong towards the top end of the table.
Eating Strawberry Delights or Orange Cremes is like sipping a strong, exotic cocktail. The distinct flavour and strange texture takes you by surprise at first, and you can embrace or reject it. We recommend the former. Once you’ve had one or two and you’re on board, there’s no going back. You’ll realise just how good these things are.
We’re cheating here and ranking these two choccies side-by-side. They’re just too tough to set apart.
3. Caramel Swirl
Caramel swirl. Credit: The Manc Group
Caramel Swirls feel like the desserts of the aristocracy. The wrappers have the shimmering, royal quality of a Ferrero Roche – except the choccies have got a gooey, gold, rich, creamy centre to match.
Understandably, the Caramel Swirl can be a bit too much for some. But on a day when you want to indulge – there are few desserts more fitting.
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Take a couple and treat yourself. You got through 2024, for God’s sake. You’ve earned it.
2. Green Triangle
The Green Triangle. Credit: The Manc Group
The Green Triangle is the Tom Hanks of box chocolates: It’s been around forever and no matter what the setting, it will never let you down.
It’s reassuring, solid and reliable. It’s easy to love. And it makes ordinary movies more enjoyable than they should be.
Good old Green Triangle. Never change.
1. The Purple One
The Purple One. Credit: The Manc Group
All hail The Purple One. God tier chocolate. The biggest, most beloved, and indisputably the best.
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With handsome wrapping and delicious contents of milk chocolate, runny caramel and a crunchy hazelnut at its core, The Purple One appears on top of user polls time and time again. Because class is permanent.
As soon as you open that Quality Street box on Christmas Day, get looking immediately for that purple wrapper. They won’t last long.
Tyson Fury and Oleksandr Usyk separated during face-off after recording-breaking stare-down
Danny Jones
Tyson Fury and Oleksandr Usyk managed to break a new record before the fight had even started during their face-off on Thursday as they engaged in an extremely intense stare-down– the longest in boxing history.
Fury vs Usyk 2 takes place this weekend, with both excitement and now tension around the eagerly-awaited rematch boiling over as the two fighters locked into respective thousand-yard stares as they met on stage in Riyadh ahead of their rematch.
The pre-fight press and build-up had felt a little quiet and understated up until the last couple of weeks but with the two division-conquering heavyweights now set for what looks to be a real battle and an actually believable feud, the anticipation and stakes have never felt higher.
Fury will have to wait until Saturday to get his second shot at beating the Ukrainian but it’s clear that both their heads are very much already in the ring as the pair ultimately had to be pulled apart after an extremely intense and, frankly, awkward 11-minute stare-down.
As you can see, the situation was an unprecedented one and neither Fury nor Usyk seemed willing to flinch or concede even a little bit of ground to the other, resulting in the longest face-off professional boxing has ever seen. It could have gone on longer by the looks of things…
More than 10 minutes passed before either party said a word to each other and it took various members of security, the promoters, Fury’s entourage and Usyk‘s to edge the two away from each other as the Wythenshawe-born boxer eventually appeared to lose his cool.
In addition to trading countless threats and insults as per, the Manc fighter looked visibly red-faced and began perspiring profusely as he became more mobile and agitated; in contrast, his Ukrainian counterpart barely moved an inch from the same spot.
Perhaps the most jarring aspect of the hot-blooded affair was the general pageantry and ceremonial stuff going on around them, as tonnes of Saudi locals danced, got up on tables and played music around them as the face-off came to its conclusion.
However, it was the scenes picked up by cameras as the two were finally separated that many fight fans think have proved most telling, as the 36-year-old launched into a torrent of verbal abuse and expletives after the fact. As they see it, Fury’s ‘meltdown’ shows he’s already lost the first round:
Usyk didn’t get to enjoy his unified title for very long after beating Tyson the first time around but judging by the level of composure on display, he might already have a leg up in the rematch too.
‘The Gypsy King’ has also been criticised once again for his conduct during the aftermath for homophobic, discriminatory and generally offensive remarks (something he’s come under fire for in the past) though he is yet to address the accusations and is unlikely to with just less than 24 hours before the bell rings.
Fury claims he hasn’t spoken to his wife in three months amidst his busy schedule and strict training camp rules for this fight – another comment he received some flak for online. Whether or not isolating himself has helped his chance, only time will tell.
If you happen to have free time on your hands and nothing better to do, you can watch the whole 11 minutes and change stare-off between Fury and Usyk down below. Better still, give us your predictions: who do you think is going to win this one?
Emily Sergeant -
1st August 2023 
