A slightly overweight, self-centred beast who went viral for being a w**ker this week has finally moved on from the UK – and sadly, I’m not referring to Piers Morgan.
No, this particular mammal was Thor, a huge walrus who chose to spend his New Year’s Eve in the popular northern seaside town of Scarborough.
The incredible marine animal had hauled himself up onto the harbour slipway in the North Yorkshire town, drawing thousands of fascinated locals to see him.
And unlike his viral walrus counterpart Freya – who was euthanised for posing a ‘threat to human safety’ after people got too close to her – Thor was left in peace until he was rested enough to continue his journey north.
His little holiday in Scarborough even led to the local New Year’s Eve fireworks display being cancelled, after the British Divers Marine Life Rescue advised that the loud noises could ‘distress’ the walrus.
Instead, crowds flocked down to see the huge creature hanging out in their town – and got to witness him… ahem… pleasuring himself in front of onlookers.
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A video viewed almost four million times was captioned: “There’s a walrus lost in scarborough. So hes just decided to knock one out in front of us all on the pier. no fucks given.”
Someone else sharing the video wrote: “A walrus named Thor stopped by Scarborough to masturbate and rest on his journey in the North Sea, prompting the city to cancel its New Year’s Eve fireworks to avoid disturbing him. This is the energy we need in 2023.”
Other more family-friendly videos show him scratching his nose, having a slow wander about, and generally chilling out by the water.
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Since he moved on from Scarborough, he was spotted relaxing on a pontoon up in Blyth, Northumberland, but moved on again early this morning.
An incredible Twitter thread by Bethan Clyne, a marine mammal medic with BDMLR, detailed the ‘gruelling but rewarding’ 14 hours they spent monitoring Thor the walrus in Scarborough.
What a surreal day! Arriving on site at 3am 31/12/2022 and spending a grueling but rewarding 14hrs closely monitoring 'Thor'.
It's been an absolute honour and a privilege to be involved from the start and be part of such an amazing @BDMLR team.
Her updates included that he remained ‘relatively unphased and comfortable’ despite the huge crowds who came out to see him.
Bethan wrote: “As Medics, we also devoted a large amount of our time to the public. I really enjoyed talking and educating 100’s upon 100’s of the interested, respectful members of the public. Some were so kind to offer drinks, food and encouraging words to keep us going in the rain and cold!”
She added: “After hours of him teasing us (I thought he was going to rest again) I was so excited and relieved when he finally made his way back to sea! We sprinted to the end of the harbour where we watched him surface a few times before disappearing into the darkness.”
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Thor the walrus is now expected to make his way up north, but may pause again for another break (hopefully he keeps it PG this time) somewhere along the Scottish coastline.
Featured image: TikTok @andysheadz / Twitter @BDMLR
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‘Hairy men’ needed to play soldiers in returning major fantasy TV series
Thomas Melia
A huge TV series has issued an urgent casting call for, very specifically, ‘hairy men’ to play soldiers.
The exact show hasn’t been named in the casting call, but it’s definitely a major returning fantasy, and is reportedly House of the Dragon, the hit Game of Thrones spin-off.
This big on demand show is set to start filming in just two months’ time, meaning anyone considering shouldn’t wait to apply.
There are a list of key characteristics candidates should have if hoping for this role, including a great work ethic and a professional attitude, something all Mancs like to think we have.
The job description states that no prior acting experience is required, one of the only other things you need to be good at is waking up early (well that’s me out).
Most importantly, headhunters are looking for individuals to take on that have one big factor in common… lots of hair.
On the official website where you can submit your headshots and photos, you will find a mood board filled with ranging hairstyles that fit the desired look the show is going for.
Just one example of a long-haired man who fits the criteria for the returning series.Another similar hair style choice to the guide from the casting call.Credit via Unsplash
Most of the pictures on the site range from long curly locks to big bushy beards – it’s a shame Santa will be back in the North Pole by now.
All candidates must have grown-out hair, ‘overgrown scruff to longer beards’, this means no short, back and sides, or any ‘modern fades’ as stated by the casting team.
If the rumours are true and this turns out to be a shoot for House Of The Dragon, it would be great to see even more Northern talent feature in this show.
It wasn’t too long ago that fans and Mancs alike realised that actor Olivia Cooke, who plays Lady Alicent Hightower, was a local lass herself, born not too far away in Oldham.
One final and important note is that anyone who is likely to apply must make sure they’re 18+ and have a right to work in the UK.
Filming will take place across North Wales and the South East from March onwards, with rate of pay roughly £140-£300+ per day (depending on hours worked).
To apply for a chance to feature in the returning major fantasy series, you can do so by visiting the site HERE.
Greater Manchester set to be battered by ‘impactful’ heavy rain and wind this week
Emily Sergeant
Greater Manchester is set to be battered by some heavy rain and wind this week, according to the Met Office.
While things have seemed surprisingly more settled for the time of year over the last week or so, with clearer skies and chilly winter mornings being fairly commonplace, all that will change very soon, as the Met Office has forecasted that the UK is set to be battered by some ‘impactful’ heavy rain and strong winds as the week goes on.
Low pressure systems will bring a more ‘unsettled’ spell of weather, with a severe weather warning for wind issued for certain parts of the UK.
Today is expected to be filled with grey skies and light rain here in Greater Manchester, with cloud covering much of the rest of the country, and other outbreaks of rain elsewhere, whereas on Wednesday, the focus of rain will shift to southern England instead.
The weather looks set to turn more unsettled during the forthcoming week 🌧️ 🌬️
Thursday is where it’s set to take the biggest downturn though, as a front bringing heavy rain moves eastwards through the day, and it’s us here in North West England that are expected to see the highest accumulations too, with 20-30mm could falling over the hills, and some hill snow even possible over the Scottish mountains too.
A deep area of low pressure will also have ‘deepened rapidly’ by Thursday, bringing ‘strengthening winds’ to western parts of the UK along with it overnight, followed by more heavy rainfall.
Greater Manchester is set to be battered by ‘impactful’ heavy rain and wind this week / Credit: Wikimedia Commons
“A very deep area of low pressure will bring a very unsettled, potentially disruptive, spell of weather to the UK through Friday and into Saturday,” explained Chris Almond, who is the Met Office Deputy Chief Meteorologist.
“Winds will begin to strengthen on Thursday night, with the peak gusts forecast through Friday in Northern Ireland and western Scotland. The wind will also be accompanied by heavy rain bringing some unpleasant conditions to end the week.
“We have issued a Yellow weather warning for wind, and with several days before the impactful weather, the forecast details are likely to be fine-tuned during the week, so stay tuned to your local forecast and keep up to date with Met Office warnings.”
Daisy Jackson -
3rd January 2023 
